Chapter 173
Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified
me, and as much as I wasn't ready for it to happen like that —
chained to the wall, his to command-
There was certainly a part of me that...liked it? Maybe. I sigh,
confused.
Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the
situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for my
wardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin — not all
of this silk and boning and laced—up restraint.
As I pull on a t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it,
of the whole evening, the central fact was that it
was terrifying for me.
And perhaps it's just me being a baby — being so naive, and romantic, and
sheltered. But as much as it sometimes gives me pleasure and a thrill to defy
Kent, and to push him, and to drive him beyond his point of control — I am not
sure I want to have sex
like that.
At least not the first time. Because there was something about the
feeling of giving up control to him that, at some moments, felt...
good?
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But it went too far. I don’t want to have sex that scares me, that makes me cry. I
just want...well, I suppose I want to be held. And comforted. Because losing your
virginity is scary enough — I'm not sure chains need to be added to the equation.
I'm staring passively into the wardrobe, lost in my thoughts, when my eyes fall on
it. I pull Ivan’s jacket from its place balled up in the back corner, where I'd tucked
it maybe an hour ago. God, an hour,
is that how it really took for my world to turn upside down like
that?
I pull the jacket on, wanting its comfort and the memories of the
parts of tonight that were so good. I tuck my nose against the jacket's collar and
take a deep sniff of lvan’s warm and spicy scent. It's strange, that two men who
are so similar on paper can make me feel so completely different on the same
night.
And considering my two “dates” this evening, I definitely know which one I
preferred.
I climb groaning into bed, pulling my covers up over me, still shaken from my
experiences but starting to feel better. Just before I drift off to sleep, I grab my
phone —
Not the Kent phone, the burner. The one Janeen gave me.
And I type in Ivan’s number, and send him a quick text to say goodnight.
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Chapter 173
Half an hour has passed since Fay left the room, and Kent is still laying on the
floor, crippled with pain and anxiety. He presses his eyes closed against it,
wanting — quite desperately — to be anywhere else, to be anyone else.
God damn it, but he hates himself right now. Hates every choice he's ever made
that has led him here, to this — to laying in his underwear on the floor of his secret
room, feeling like the absolute worst person on earth.
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,
Because he knows he’s made a oe
mistake — that pono hiss what
TReGonte? is on popsnovel.com!
Read the latest chapter there!
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he wanted, or how he wanted it, with
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Fay. But for the pd fin, BEAGESN t
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Read the latest chapter there!
As he considers that idea, Kent scolds himself, because —
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obviously — he knows how to not do
. ) . 5
this. He's had sex with women in
much simpler ways — normal sex,
good sex, in a bed, wititout oped and
: = ,
crains. Notevery woman he’s ever
brought home has been locked up in
this room, restrained for him. He
) 5
doesn't need the kink to have sex —
+ Cr
sometimes it's just an extra, bonus
that allows him to explore his
obsession with control. The content
is on popsnovel.com! Read the latest
chapter there!
1:
Fall For My Ex's Mafia Father
1/3
Chapter 174