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First Time (18+) - Chapter 5
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“are you feeling better?” Julian asks.
“mhm.” i start to feel drowsy and i can barely see anything. i’m starting to lose focus on Julian, and my heart is starting to ache badly. Julian notices and carries me to the bed, but i’ve never asked before, “whose bed is this, Julian?”
“mine.”
i would be hissing back, but my mind is drained from all those drinks. i wonder how Julian is still sober, i thought he’d be slumped by now. “okay.”
“i need water…” i say, rubbing my temples. my eyes can’t open anymore, it feels so dry and sore. Julian plops out of the bed and goes out of the room to grab me water. i wait for him to come back but every second that i wait, it feels longer. i wish that i was able to stay awake, but my mind is throbbing too much and i couldn’t help it but to fall asleep.
It felt like a siren ringing inside my mind, everything felt so heavy. even though i wanted to open my eyes, i couldn’t. my lids felt glued on and if hopefully someone heard me, they’d be able to help me.
“hello?” i whisper.
“hello”, someone answers.
i immediately open my eyes to see that i’m still in a room other than mine, and i look at the figure who slept beside me, fluttering his eye lashes.
“Julian?!”
a giggle fell from his tongue, “good morning!” his smile as boxy as ever, and his cheeks chubby as ever.
i place my hands on my hips. “why am i still here?” i sternly ask.
Julian fiddles with his thumbs, “well you see you’re probably having a hangover, do you need more sleep?”
“no, i don’t. i remember everything.”
“and what do you remember?”
i think about last night.. yet everything seems foggy. i remember drinking, but that’s about it. i frown, “actually, nothing. i remember nothing.”
“well.. i’m sorry to tell you this, but we slept together.”
my eyes pop out like squishy eyeballs, “what?!”
Julian tries to pull it together and act serious, but ends up chuckling the very least. “we slept together, as in we did it.”
“no way!” i push Julian away and cover myself with the sheets, “i didn’t just let you be my first!”
he removes the blanket from me and pulls me towards his chest, “don’t worry, you enjoyed it. that’s all that matters.”
though i’d want to regret it, i didn’t regret it. some part of me met a stranger, but some part of me learnt about a stranger. it’s okay because we’d never meet again anyway. Julian is over the top alluring and if he enjoyed it, what could be the worst?
“if we did do it.. did you enjoy it?” i mumble.
even though i ask Julian, he doesn’t answer. it makes me a bit worried, what if i didn’t pleasure him well enough?
“there’s only one way to find out”, Julian blurts.
“what do you mean?”
“show me again. how you were last night.”
i widened my eyes not expecting such.a request. “i-” what we did was in a drunken state and i don’t think i could have the courage to reveal myself being sober. “that was last night”, i sigh.
“but i like you so much right now”, Julian pouts.
he likes me? i thought this was an one time thing for him. i would be lying if i said that part of me didn’t want to feel passionate intimacy for the first time. the way how Julian just screams “i want you” and how he makes me feel safe even though we’ve only met for so long. “why? why do you like me?”
I hear Julian take a deep breath, “you’re wonderful, though you don’t think so. you’re mature and you value yourself. you may be stubborn, but stubborn for the right reasons. even though you might think that these nights with you has been nothing for me, it’s been fascinating and amazing. give me a chance.”
and it’s true. the only reason to why i’ve been avoiding getting close was because it’s obvious, he can snap a finger and girls would go crazy over him. but even though he may be lying, all i know is that it’s now or never.