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His Darkness - Chapter 42
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“It’s not just that, is it??” I snap my head up to his eyes, a frown on my face. I can feel my breathing begin to quicken up as my defensive walls start building up around me. My fists clench and unclench by my sides and I shake my head.
“It’s just the break up, nothing else.” I lie but my voice wobbles, threatening to break at any moment. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. pushing the thoughts to the back of my head.
Thoughts of Justin, my dead mother, my father…
There it is again, the pain inside my chest. The unbearable feeling as if someone was grabbing my lungs, squeezing the life out of them. I can’t stop it, I can’t stop the pain from flashing across my face, twisting my features up as I struggle to not break down.
“Hablame, por favor” Alex whispers, standing in front of me. I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as I struggle to breathe. A single tear escapes my eye and I lean back against the kitchen furniture, needing something to steady myself against. [Talk to me please]
“Estoy asustada Alex,” I reply, my words barely a whisper. My mothers face flashes through my mind and I whimper, wanting to reach out and touch her. Instead I feel his hand slip into mine, intertwining our fingers together. [I’m scared]
“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.” He murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I keep my eyes shut tightly because I’m afraid if I open them, I’ll break down. I don’t want Alex to see the broken little girl inside my eyes, I don’t want him to see how vulnerable and weak I really am.
“You’ve been learning Spanish?” He asks me quietly, his tone surprised and impressive. I smile at his question, feeling the salty tears line my lips.
“I was fluent in Spanish as a child. My mother taught me,” I explain, ignoring the stabs of pain at my heart. I suck in a deep breath and squeeze his hand, feeling his warmth heat me up.
“I tried to forget everything about my mother when she died, including Spanish. I thought it would be easier that way. She taught me German too but I struggle with that language. Spanish was always my favourite…” I venture off, remembering all the good memories. Alex remains silent, his hand firmly wrapped in mine as I continue.
“‘It’s always good to be educated, Ariana’ that’s do it anymore. Slowly over the years, I began to forget it and pushed it to the back of my mind. I locked it away with all the other good memories because the bad ones seem to overtake them” I say quietly, struggling to form my words together. The tight hold on my lungs begin to loosen and I breathe normally.
“When I met you, you bring all those memories back Alex. Not just the Spanish… it’s your eyes, your smile. I see the sun inside your eyes Alex. The sun reminds me of my mother. When I realised I barely understood what you were saying to me, it felt like I let my mother down. So for the past few days, I’ve locked myself in my room, studying Spanish again. I’ve forgotten how much I love it and I want to make her proud… I want to make you proud.” I reveal, finally gaining the confidence to open my eyes.
I breathe in a sharp intake of oxygen as I stare up into the most beautiful set of eyes. His expression is one of surprise and adoration, the brown in his eyes melting my insides completely.
There it is again.
The sun.
When he opens his mouth to speak, it takes all the strength I have not to lose the ability to breathe.
“Fûck hermosa, I knew you were special.”
And then,
he kisses me.
…THE END!!…
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