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I Love You, Goodbye - Chapter 12
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Should I tell him that my memories already come back? Or not? But if he find out that I already knew it for how many days or years, he will be mad at me and start thinking that all this time I keep playing his heart. The best thing to do is I should tell him the truth before it’s too late.
“Laves, I have something to tell you”.
“What is it?”
“I……………..Already……………..I mean”
“If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. Don’t force yourself.”
He speak to me with a calm voice. He really is worried to me.
“No, I will tell you, it’s just that I’m quite nervous”.
What if you’ll force myself to marry you right away because of our promise, I’ll be in a difficult position. Still, I want to trust Laves.
“Don’t startle if I tell you this, okay?”
“Okay”
“Why are you nervous too?”
“No, I’m not. So what is it?”
He really is nervous. What could he be thinking right now that make him shaking?
“I finally remember everything”.
“What?!!!”
“The day I collapse, that’s the time my memories come back”.
“Is it true? If that so, I have to work hard so that you’ll love me again and you’re willing to marry me. Don’t worry, I won’t force you to marry me right away. You don’t want to marry someone just because of a mere promise right?”
“You, you really are the best. I’ll learn to love you more when I finally know how to love myself, cherish myself and how to forgive and accept. Please wait for me plus you don’t have to work hard so that I’ll fall again with you. I already love you, the first time I saw you, I knew already that this is real. But I have to love myself before I love someone. Okay?”
“Of course. I’ll wait even if it takes a hundred years.”
I really love this guy. From being a kid until now, my heart always belong to him. What I fell to Blake wasn’t love but just a mere attraction. I fell to him because I don’t know what is love, I fell to him because he’s perfect, he has a complete family, he’s good both at academics and sports, he become a CEO in a young age and mostly he’s popular, he’s cool and handsome. He has everything that I don’t.
But my Laves is the best and no one can replace it. There’s a saying that, Even if you have wealth, beauty and brain it’ll be nothing if your personality suck. This quote really suits Blake. I really want to say it to him.
“I thought you’re pregnant with Blake’s child. I was pretty nervous a minute ago.”
“What? That’s really absurd”
“I know, I’m sorry”
“But what if it’s true? Will you still accept me?”
“I’ll be lying if I said no. Of course I do. I love you, not your body but your soul. I’ll still love the child fairly even if I’m not his real father, I will raise him to become a good person unlike his real father, and I will become his father that he never had.”
“Can I really trust your words?”
“Of course”
“But don’t worry. We never sleep together since he’s always in his work.”
I can see his relief face. It’s really cute. It’s a good thing I never done something so outrageous.
After we eat, we sleep in a different room. He respect me, even though I told him that I love him too, he didn’t use this as an opportunity to sleep together like a couple. I still can’t believe that someone like Laves love me a lot. That’s why I can’t help but thinking that what if it’s all my hallucination or imagination, what if it’s all a dream. If this is a dream, I hope I will never wake up.
It’s already morning and I can hear the birds chirping. I open my eyes and see a familiar room. Where am I really? The black and white paint. The vase with a flowering design. A lamp that has a colorful light. And a floor with a wooden tile. This designs was all located in Blake’s home, no, our room.
Wait, how-how did I come back here? I’m sure I was in Laves house. How did I get here? What happened while I was sleeping? Did something happened? How was Laves? Is he worried about me right now? I freeze for a moment. I have so many questions popping in my head. I should grab some water to calm myself down.
In the middle of my thinking, someone touch my hand, which makes me surprise the most. Blake is here beside me moreover he’s sleeping. He never done it before. He would rather sleep in the couch than sleeping in the bed with me. What the hell happened? I’m so confuse.
Is this a dream? Or what happened before was the real dream? This, I-I-I don’t like this. Should I ask for help? Yes, I should ask. I should go out in the room.
I tried to shout but my voice won’t come out. I tried to stand up but I was chained. I tried everything but someone’s blocking. I’m scared. Laves, help me.
I can’t do anything. I feel so hopeless and helpless.
Why is Blake doing this? He’s here beside me holding my hands and the chains. Does he really hate me that much? Why does he have to go this far? What’s this?? What really happened here?
I look around and see Laves lying in the ground with full of blood. What? How did this happen in just a night? Am I crazy? Or did I have a hallucination? Please help me.
Mom, Dad, I can’t stand it anymore. It hurts. I don’t want to see Laves in this state. I should died too if he die. I will follow him wherever he go even if I have to go to hell with him, I’ll go.
Blake makes me suffered. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t really like it.
I have to help myself!!!..