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Love You Or Hate You I Can't Decide BOOK 1, Season 1&2 - Chapter 206
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- Love You Or Hate You I Can't Decide BOOK 1, Season 1&2
- Chapter 206 - “How much does he loves me?”
** Episode-204 “How much does he loves me?” **
He pinned Alisa on the bed securing her hands
as he pinned then down, she kept struggling, but he was kissing her neck
leaving dark red marks, he was biting it as he lost his control…. She was in
tears, she begged, “Ed- ah…. Edwin… stop” she wanted him to stop… but was he is
the sense to stop????
Alisa’s POV:
I almost begged him, “Ed-ah…. Edwin… stop…” he can’t do this to me… I
don’t want to be forced my him… I never thought he would force me, even if he
does this under the drug I will hate him forever..
I was still trying to push him away, I was using my force to push him
away, I was fighting to get free of his grip.. but I am failing to fight him… I
was still feeling him kissing and biting my neck.. it was pleasuring but
somewhat I hated it because I don’t want it…. why did I follows him here? it
was a mistake….
I shouldn’t have come here looking for him, if I knew I would be in this
state then I would have never followed him here…, but he is not doing this on
his own will, he is under the drug…but why is he drugged…. I know he is lost
every bit of his self control, I was still asking him to stop, I was
practically begging him but it is not coming to me.. he is not stopping, like
he can’t hear me..… but I don’t want to do this..
I heard cloth tearing voice, and noticed
the dress is torn from half of my upper part… my bra was visible, so is my
tattoo, his hands are touching it and I
am in tears, he whispered in raspy voice, “you are so sexy” and he was still
kiss my neck, his hands were touching my
every part and I am getting tried to trying to get out of his grip, like my
strength doesn’t exist against him..… I
am losing my mind as he is touching me but this is not what I want… not like
this…
I suddenly felt him picking my legs up and I tried to move away but… he is way too
strong, he pulled me by my waist close to him, his hands were touching my
thighs, he was going further up… I covered my face was tears are falling, I
gave up on fighting back right now, like I know I have to go through this
night,… my strength is getting weak in front of him.. I felt him kissing my
inner thigh and I know right now I can’t escape … I will take this as a nightmare,
please someone help be close my eyes and please go through this horror…. He is
out of control……..
I felt him sitting to removed his
shirt, I looked at him with anger and tears, his body is sweaty and his breath
is hot… his eyes are darker and filled with lust, it’s not him anymore… tears
roll down my eyes… my eyes met his as I am in tears sniffing, I am still
glaring with anger and pain.. what can I do in front of a person who is out of
sense, drunken by his desire and this drug but that doesn’t make me less angry
on his.. I whispered to myself, “I will hate you Edwin….” , but I saw sudden
change in his expression, his eyes are blank of a sudden, his moments stopped.. I covered my face with my hand
and directed my face away from him.. I don’t want to face him….. he got off
from me and sat on the empty side of the bed, I looked at his figure with
surprise, shock and relief …. He is Facing his back to me… I can see him taking
heavy breath, sweaty body and tighten feast to control himself…. he STOPPED
BECAUSE OF ME…
He said with lot of efforts, “lock… yourself in the bathroom…. Don’t…
open … keep.. yourself away from me… before I lose it….again” his voice was
husky.. he is avoiding to face me…. but his words made me alert and got up to
did as he said….
I sat up, trying to hold the rags to my body hiding my half naked body,
I was about to get off bed when I noticed his voice which was indicating he was
extremely uncomfortable, I paused directed my face to him… I had a glance at his
shaking figure as he shaking and trying to win control over his own body… he
stopped because of me… he stopped because of my tears… he would have rped me
brutally, here is no one to question him as he is power himself.. but he
stopped because of me, my face told him,
I didn’t want it and he is still trying to control himself for me…. even though
this control is hurting him… he cares for me more than himself, of there was
some other person instead of him he wouldn’t have stopped… I have seen people
trying to r*ape me and drug me.. but he is always the one to save me, and now
he is trying to win control over his body so he won’t do something wrong to me,
he still cares for my feelings…….. how much does he loved me….
If he didn’t loved me, he didn’t have
cared out my approval or not… he would have satisfied himself…. he still loved me…… as much as I do…. but I
am not forgiving him…. I wanted trust and transparency in this relation…. Not
his pity… forgiving is not what he deserves for what he did to me, my anger is
not only because he divorced me without explanation but because he tortured me
since first day of this relation, but I forgot the torture and got in his arms
after he asked me for love… but what I got is divorce… how can I trust you
again Edwin..
Even though I hate seeing him in pain
because of this drug, something is telling me he don’t deserve my forgiveness…
I heard him, “Now!… get away…” I was
pulled out of my thought after his words ringing in my ears… I covered myself
with the sheet and stepped down of the bed.. before I could walk to the
bathroom I had a glance at him with teary eyes..
He shaking, sweating and then he landed
on other side of bed covering his face with his hand,,, he must be suffering
,…… I can’t see him like this… it hurts… there is no way to help him… other
than …… his shaking voice is telling me the drug is making him mess… I wiped my
tears… why does it hurts to see you like this Edwin… why can’t I hate you
completely after all of this…. it’s all because of the love I see in your
eyes.. it’s all because the love in your eyes make my heard remember it’s own
feeling …. But I can’t forgive you… but I can’t see you like this…
My tears fall as I see his this condition,
he cares for me…. if it’s only me to help him out this time. Then let it be
me…. I don’t want to think straight I want to ease his pain even though I will
be called stupid… I don’t know why I am this messed up every time… but there is
no time to stop….
I let go the sheet and walked to him, I
crawled on the bed.. I was near him, he noticed me and said, “Get
out!!!!!” my inner self smiled on his
words.. how much do you care for me..
I touched his shoulder and said,
“Edwin…. Let me help you…”
He looked at me for a second and turned his face down again, he said,
“No…. no!,… you will regret this…”
I smiled subconsciously, he is still
thinking about me…. I hugged him and rested my head on his body and said, “I
won’t…..” I grabbed his cheeks and said, “Edwin.. please… don’t hurt yourself….
Let me help you..” I felt him lighten up slightly…
I made him look at me and connected my
lips to his, suddenly I felt him powering as if he is losing him self, he was
engulfing my mouth, he was using his tough and I couldn’t help but grab on his
shoulder, this drug is really on his head, I never felt him so impatient… at
one point he bit my tough and I grasped, I hit his shoulder. But I got response
in feeling is finger sliding in, I flinched in pain and pleasure.. it’s been 2
years since I did something like this and he is rough.. I know it will hurt… he
pinned me on bed again and this time with more force.. he pulled my hands in
his one hand and was still doing sinful things with other hand… I couldn’t help
but moan, at one point this feels like I am back in time… I will forget
everything for tonight… and live this time as I wanted to… he became more rough
with the kiss and I am already melting…. I touched his body as I am dying for
this to happen myself…. I missed him so bad…. Why is he is go god at it….
He whispered, “I love you” then got rid
of my clothes, soon his clothes were lying on the floor…. he wasted no more
time, I felt him entering me with force and no patience, I let a scream. I
looked at him with in this hot moment and he is unbelievably sexy, I reached to tough his face and he
instantly moved to kiss me without missing a trust.. this night is long,
passionate and hot… and I will try to hide myself in him for just tonight…. I
will be his for just tonight.. this would be fragment of our beautiful moments
together as I am reliving our past….. this is my love that I gave you myself…
please don’t mistake it for forgiveness, Edwin…