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Love You Or Hate You I Can't Decide BOOK 1, Season 1&2 - Chapter 235
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- Love You Or Hate You I Can't Decide BOOK 1, Season 1&2
- Chapter 235 - “Explain”
Episode- 233 “Explain”
Alisa’s POV:
He said with a really husky
bold voice, “Stop, right there Little dove.. don’t you think you need to
explain,,,,,” I looked at him and he was walking close to me… gosh! I messed up….
I moved back but he never stopped walking to me.. I saw him folding his sleeves.. he kind of
looks intimidating but hot… soon back of my leg touch the table.. my face is somewhat stoned like I have no
expressions…..
He asked again, “Explain..” he was pinning me
in between him and the wall and staring at me intensely, I looked at him and he is too close but tall
at the same time.. I feel like a rabbit caught by a wolf.. I felt him picking
me up and making me sit on the table.. now I was at his face level… I looked at
him and his eyes are dark and demanding but it feels like he will not lot let
me go easily.. I should have controlled my mouth…
I said, “E-explain… w-what…” gosh! I am
nervous, but I want to avoid the question… Edwin moved his hand around my
waist and demanded, “I never knew you
were this possessive and jealous.. but this makes me like you more…” I gulped…
then he was moving his hands to my shoulders to neck, he added as his sharp
eyes met mine, “But my little dove.. I do not like you doubting me… I feel insanely
sad…. You don’t trust me?.. why?” I realized what I was thinking was kind of
wrong… I really doubted him, he earlier said he will only love me, he waited
for this relation to be at this state for years.. he did a lot for me… he even
fight for me in front of my parents… what am I doing to him… this is wrong.. I
am doing wrong to him… it’s natural that he feel like I don’t trust him..
I grabbed his hand and said, “Sorry… I don’t know what gotten into me..
but something was burning inside as I heard of someone being close to you which is not me… and you.. in the past..
you were a play boy, I saw you with many girls… so.. my mind was taken over by
jealousy…” I noticed his eyes got dark as I said ‘playboy’ shit! I messed up…
what is wrong with me… I must have hurt him.. Alisa! Use your brain before speaking…
He looked away and scoffed… he looked at me with anger and said, “you
don’t trust me.. you don’t trust me…. I never thought that… if it was just
simple possessiveness then.. I might have liked it…. but you lack trust in me…
not pleasing at all…” oh no! he is mad… I hurt him again… I was speechless… but
I do feel ashamed and sorry… I saw him walking out of the room without any
other word…
God! He must be really angry… well how stupid I am, I made my fiancé mad at
me 20 days before our wedding… I followed him, I need to explain… I don’t want
my stupid actions be converted into big fight… I need make him forgive me….
I saw him walking to his desk, he didn’t even looked at me for once..
and he sat there kind of angry and flipping the file… he looks scary… he is
like this when he is mad at me, he avoids me.. I hate it when he avoids me…
I approached him and I whispered with nervousness…, “Ed-Edwin… I am
sorry… I didn’t mean it…” he didn’t looked at me, he kept his attention to the
file, he is acting like my existence doesn’t matter in this room..… he just
said dryly, “Go to the palace… don’t stay here.. I don’t want you here.. I am
busy…” he is really mad at me… he kept reading the file, this time I made him
angry without his fault.. he did nothing wrong, he solved the article problem
then treated my wound with love and care… I said wrong words to him.. he
doesn’t deserve it..
I moved to him as I tried to touch his hand, he moved away pulling his
hands away from me and continued to look at the file… oh! No.. what should I
do…
I pulled the file from him and he is not happy about it, I sat on the
table and so he was now looking at me sharply, he asked, “What?” it was like a
scold… I flinched but I sat there… he looked away… why is he not looking at me…
I grabbed his face so I can see his eyes and said, “I know I messed up…
I regret my words.. but you know I am bad with words… I am sorry for whatever I
said… I trust you with my life… but I fear losing you also…” he looked away
without any expression, he is super angry, I added, “I know you don’t feel good
by my words… I know you are angry.. but talk to me, you can scold me for my
mistakes.. but don’t ignore me… I
promise I will never do something as this… I admit I though wrong but I was
angry on the women, as I fear losing you… back then lot of women were after you
before and now… I am inferior in many things.. I fear you will find someone
better than me….” he finally looked at me, he sigh… but he said without
expressions, “No one is better than you.. where do you get all this trash in
your brain… I was a playboy… but it was so that I can distract myself.. so I
won’t come to you.. I never even fcked your sister… what do you think I will
do the same sht even when I have you… you are perfect and all I need is you to
trust me… but you don’t trust me….” I
nodded and said, “I am sorry.. I promise I will never do this again… I promise,
am I forgiven?” he thought for a moment…
he looked away like he is still not giving up..
I asked again with hope and desperation, “Edwin… please… I won’t do
that.. I won’t say anything like this again…. Hmm??” he is not answering, he
looked at his watch and then sigh…. What is meaning of this?… did I make it
or not,,,
He got up and pulled his coat from the chair and wore it like I don’t
exist…. Is he leaving?.. like this!…
I grabbed his coat and asked,
“Edwin??…” he didn’t looked at me and he said, “Go home… I am busy, I have a
meeting…..” he tried to walk out and I stood there without knowing what I
should do… my words are getting stick in my body…. I upset him and now his cold
behavior is doing worst to me..
He turned to me, his eyes met mine, his eye
are not telling me much.. he walked close to me, I was standing near the table.
He pulled the phone from the table and said on it without looking at me, “Ken,
send Alisa home now…” he is pushing me back… he walked away without any further
words, he made me stuck in this fear and confusion without giving answer… Edwin
is really mad at me…he loves me the way no one did, he pampers me.. but when he
is angry on me he is always the hardest to fix…. And this time I hurt his pride
and feelings.. when he was only taking care of me… what was I even thinking…
I will follow him, yes.. I need to fix
this right now… Before I could reach the door knob, I was surprised to see it
open as someone walks in, I saw Ken.. Edwin told Ken to leave me home… they are
fast… Ken looked confused, he passed the
phone… I looked at the phone and then at
Ken’s face which was filled with concern… Ken said, “Edwin” he said this as if
he is reassuring…
I took the phone hesitantly, I pulled it to my ear and I heard his cold
voice, “Don’t fight with Ken.. he will send you home…” before I could I say
anything more the call ended… Edwin this is too much…
I was about to throw the phone but it was not mine, Ken asked, “Why is
he like this? something happened…”