Note: Upgrade your browser if you can't see the images.
Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 37
You are reading Man Of Probabilities Chapter 37 at mangacake.
Please use the Bookmark button to get notifications about the latest chapters of Man Of Probabilities next time when you come visit our manga website
I am still in the middle of running away and thinking about all the depressing things I have when the rain started to pour though it was not surprising for me.
I pulled out my foldable umbrella from my backpack and continued walking when I noticed someone staring blankly at a tree on the side of the road without being bothered by the rain.
He looks much more miserable than me and so I cautiously approached him and gently asked, “Hey, are you alright?”
The shine in his eyes came back when he looked at me as I sheltered him under my umbrella.
“I’m ok….thank you for your concern.”
“Don’t you have an umbrella with you? You’ll get sick if you stay here.”
“I forgot to bring an umbrella so I…”
“Then I’ll lend this to you. Here.”
“Wait, you don’t have to. We can still share it, just walk me back to my place.” He held my arm tightly as if he was afraid to let me go.
“Alright, if that is what you like then lead the way.” I nod at him at held the umbrella back.
We walked for almost 10 minutes until he lead me to a dark alleyway.
I hesitated for a second and prepared myself to flee in case that he is just leading me into a trap.
“What’s the matter? Why did you stop?” He asked after he noticed that he is already five steps ahead of me.
“Nothing. I am just thinking if we are still far away from your place.”
“Oh, about that, actually we already passed by it.”
“What? Then where are we going?”
“To my second home.”
“……” I am starting to think that I have encountered a strange guy today.
“Are you a university student?” He suddenly ask out of the blue.
“Yes…. I am a freshman student.”
“Then I guess you will be allowed to enter my place.” he smiled at me as he take a sudden turn to a what assume is a backdoor of an establishment.
I don’t have any idea what does he want to convey in his words but when he opened the door, it all sink in to me.
“Welcome to the hidden bar that only serves those lucky people who stumbled into it by accident, the ‘RainFlower’
Rainflower? Is this some kind of mysterious place? Sounds like a magical place for me.
“….” I didn’t bother to comment on his introduction to his own bar to avoid blurting out any of my weird thoughts and so I just followed him inside.
“Just take a seat anywhere you like and I will prepare anything you want to drink. Take your time to decide because you will be my first customer tonight.”
“You don’t have to go that far. Just open the bar so you can start serving your customers.”
“But I just wanted to show my gratitude towards you.”
“No, you don’t have to do that, we are just strangers in the first place and I am not fond of drinking and besides, I will be just staying here until the rain stops.”
“Then let me erase the barrier that keeping us in being strangers to each other.I am Amemori Makinohana. The same characters when you write Rain Forest and my name with the three symbols that means true hope and flower.” He suddenly pulled my hand and writes the characters of his name in my palm using his finger.
“Uhmmm.. I’m Shinobu Naoyuki.” I have no choice but tell him my name out of courtesy.
“Then let me guess, are you born during winter? Something to do with snow?”
“No, it is just the name my parents choose before I was born.”
There was an awkward silence between us after I shut down our topic of conversation.
What should I do now? Should I start a new conversation? But I am the type of person who always have a hard time dealing with other people.
Maybe I should take this opportunity to leave now.
“I think I should go no-” my stomach suddenly grumble loudly and it is too embarrassing and so I immediately look away from him.
“Hahahaha.”
“Hey, you don’t have to laugh too loudly, it only makes me feel more embarrassed.”
“Don’t tell me that the reason why you don’t want to have some drink is because your hungry?”
“And so what? Do you have any problem with that?”
“Nothing, but you should just have tell me so I can cook something. Just wait and I’ll prepare something for you.”
He left me all alone while he was busy preparing something in the corner.
I easily got tired of watching his back and so I pulled out my phone to just play some games when my phone started ringing.
It was Hisashi.
The least person I wanted to see right now.
I wanted to ignore his call but the ringing won’t stop and it is starting to get the attention of Amemori-san so it give me no choice but to pick up the call.
“Nao where are you right now?”
“I’m just at a… a cafe.” I can’t say to him that I am in a bar.
“Did you bring your umbrella? It seems that the rain won’t stop for a while so I’m worried for you.”
“Of course I brought it with me and also my keys…. I will back later so you don’t have to wait for me. Bye.”
“Ok, just be careful. Bye.”
Why? Why do you always do this things that makes my heart flutter? Don’t you know that it only makes me feel more conflicted towards you.
How can I ever stop liking you if you always give me a reason to fall for you more.
*sigh*
“Here, my special tomato and garlic pasta. Please enjoy.”
My train of thoughts was interrupted when a plate of pasta was placed in front of me.
It smells so good that I can feel my mouth water just by looking at it.
“Thanks for the food.” I said before making my first bite.
“And here’s a glass of Sangiovese wine. I think this will suit your taste even if you are not fond of drinking alcoholic beverages.”
“Thank you.” I accepted the wine and continued eating the pasta.
…..
I don’t know if it is because of the weather, the pasta, the wine or just because of his friendly character that make me feel at ease towards him and little by little, without even noticing, I finally opened up and became friends.
When the rain stopped, I bid my goodbye but promised to him that I will visit again when I have my free time.
That promise was not fulfilled for almost a month because of the examination period in the university. I only have time to visit him when all the school works I have has been finished.
That night, I sneaked out of the dormitory after Hisashi fell asleep. It was my first time to sneak out and lie again to my best friend so it makes me feel bad everytime I make a step towards the Rainflower bar.
When I came in, the atmosphere inside the place is very different from the time when I came here while it is closed so I feel a little sad seeing how Amemori-san didn’t even notice me inside even though I already ordered two glasses of cocktail from his assistant while he was busy mixing drinks for other customers.
I just continued drinking and watching him from the sidelines while trying to see the probabilities of him noticing me but there is nothing. I cannot see any probabilities whenever I try to seek something related to him.
*sigh* What is wrong with this guy? This is the first time I have encountered someone whom I cannot find any probabilities related to him. Is he some kind of alien.
“Hey cutie, what’s with the long sigh? Do you want some company tonight?” Suddenly, a middle-aged man sit next to me and offered me a drink.
“No, I’m sorry but I just want to be alone.” I refused him immediately.
“You don’t have to be so shy, if you want to be alone then you can come to my place.”
“I already refused you so please leave me alone.”
I am starting to feel wary when he suddenly grabbed my hands so tight as if he wanted to drag me away.
“Just come with me and it will be fine. Don’t worry, I will pay you if you that’s what you are worrying about.”
“Stop. Please let go! I’m not that type of person so please let me go.” I tried to pull back my hand but his grip is too tight.
I tried to ask for help but everyone was busy and there is nobody looking towards my direction. The only hope I have was the assistant of Amemori-san but he went out buy something. I am starting to feel desperate.
I should just stay in the dormitory and have a good night sleep. For sure this experience will traumatize me for life.
I reached out for the fork I used to eat the pasta a while ago and hold tightly as I shut my eyes closed preparing to stab him with it then I will run at my full speed to get away for my crime.
Everything is already planned perfectly. I raised the fork and started to swing it towards his face.
I am still waiting for the gruesome impact of the sharp fork towards his face when I felt someone stopping my hand.
Oh crap! Did he see through my plan? What if it only makes him more angry and then started beating me up. I slowly opened my eyes to see what happened when I realized that someone else was stopping my hand from stabbing him.
It was Amemori-san.
“Sir I think you already have enough drinks for tonight. Please leave.” He was also holding the arm of that man with his other hand.
“Why would I leave? I’m not drunk yet and I’m just trying to get this kid come home with me.”
“Do you know this kid sir?” He asked the guy while looking at me.
“Well of course, he is my nephew and I just want him to go home so please let go of me so I can drag this kid back.”
I feel nervous after hearing him make a straight lie just to change the situation we were in and I started to panick when Amemori-san let go of his arm and pulled the fork away from my hand.
“Ok, well if that’s what is this all about, but before that, let me ask you what is the name of your nephew?”
“Ahhh… Ehhhh Why would I tell you that? It has nothing to do with you!” The man started to loosen his grip and so I immediately slip away and run behind the back of Amemori-san.
“Hey! Come back here damn brat!”
“Stop! Just leave if you don’t me to call a police to pick you up after I stab you a little.” He pulled out his phone and started dialing while pointing the fork he got from me towards him.
“Fine! I’ll leave.” He turned away and left the bar.
*sigh*
“Ahahahaha” Amemori-san suddenly starts laughing after the commotion. “I have never seen someone tried to stab anyone with a fork.”
“And I never seen anyone threatened someone with a fork.” I answered while smiling at him.
All the anxiety I felt just a few moments ago vanished and replaced by great relief.
“Thank you for saving me, I thought that will be the end of me.”
“Well, I’m sorry for not noticing that you were here the whole night. Though it was your fault for coming here during the busiest day.”
“Oh I forgot that all bars are typically busy during Fridays and Saturdays. I just got so eager to go here after all my school works.”
“Then just text me beforehand whenever you want to go here so that I can reserve a good spot for you here.” He pat my head and ruined my hair.
“Okay, okay I’ll do it so please stop ruining my hair.”
“Fine. Do you want anything to eat? Something to do drink?”
“Hmmmm… Then give me your best drink, and a handful of stories about you.”
“Ohhh so you’re now interested in my life huh? Then please let me hear first the story about your name.”
“But it is just a little nonsense story so I think it is not worthy to share.”
“I’m fine with it, I just want to hear you more.”
“Well actually, it started with my father being an airhead that time when I was being conceived. It was winter season when my mother is still in the middle of the pregnancy when they decided to make a list of names for me. My dad got too excited and ended up listing names that were all related to winter season such as Yuki, Fuyu, Shu and Shizu. He was too busy with work afterwards and so they still haven’t decided for my name until I came and then because of their panick while filing up my birth registration form he picked up the name Naoyuki without even realizing that it was already spring season despite of all the cherry blossoms outside the hospital.”
“At least you end up having a meaningful name despite of being rushed. If I were your father then I might have gave you a funny name out of panick hahaha.”
“Well after what he did with my name, they decided to also ruin my brother’s name.”
“What? Really? So what’s your brother name?”
“He was born on winter so you can make a guess.”
“Hmmmmm, Haru? Don’t tell me they actually name their second born Haru?”
“Yes, actually his name is Koharu. And he was born in winter and not in spring. I don’t know if they gave that name as a joke or another miscalculation of his day of birth but for us brothers, it was just a joke to swap our names like that.”
“I actually like the story of your names. I wish I could meet your brother too.”
“Well actually, he can’t come here because he is still 10 years old.”
“Ohh I see. You sure have a wide age gap.”
“Then it’s my turn to share something about me, but I think mine will not be as entertaining as yours.”
“Ok, I’m fine with it.”
“Actually, I am already 28 years old and a college drop out.”
“Oh I thought that you are just 2 years older than me, but well it is ok for me.”
With his looks and the way he wear his clothes, people can het easily deceived of his age.
“Then do you have a family? A lover? With your cool style, I bet every girl who stumbled in this bar will fall for you.”
“Nope, I don’t have anyone like that. I don’t want any additional trouble in my life so I refrain from flirting with anyone.”
“By the way, I am still wondering what you were doing in front of a tree when I first saw you. You were just staring blankly at it that I thought that you were looking at something spectacular but when I looked at it, it was just a cherry blossom tree that have its petals all fall off.”
“I am actually just in deep thought that time so I didn’t notice the rain.”
“Lucky for you to have me passed by or else you will surely get soaked wet that time.”
“Well thank you for saving me from drowning from my own thoughts.”
…..
My visits to his bar become more frequent and becomes natural for me to meet him eveytime I have a free time.
It feels like all my worries and problems disappear everytime I am with him. He is a cheerful person, the type of friend who makes the people around him warm and happy just like the sun.
I look up to him as a senior, as someone respectable, as someone to lean on and as someone who guided me through the first year of my college days despite of him being a drop out.
Going outside the University and sneaking out of the dormitory become a usual norm for me and it feels like I am having a secret affair everytime I lied to Hisashi.
The feelings that I thought was love towards Hisashi finally came into a conclusion. In the end, I rejected my own feelings, I surrendered all my hope and decided to forget it and just be happy being his friend forever.
That was the best decision I have made so far in my life and I know that I will never regret it.
When winter season came, and it has been more than a year since I met Amemori Makinohana, I discovered a truth that he has been successfully hiding behind his bright personality.
It was during a winter holiday when I decided to go back to my hometown to surprise my brother who is celebrating his birthday.
While I am on my way and almost just a few kilometers from my home, I saw what appears to be Amemori-san walking towards the town graveyard.
I doubted myself first because he never mentioned about him being a local of our town so I asked the taxi driver to drop me off and decided to follow the man that looks like him inside the graveyard.
I secretly followed him until he stopped in front of a family grave that belongs to one of the most prominent family in our town, the Kotomine Clan.
He lit up an incense and started praying in front of a small tombstone at the side. After doing the proper rituals, he left a piece of while lotus flower and then walk out without looking back.
I came out from my hiding place and looked at the grave where he visited, and to my surprise, I discovered that it belongs to Kotomine Shizumi, one of the daughters of the Kotomine family who committed suicide back then.
The reason for her death was never revealed and all the rumors surrounding their family has been silenced immediately after her funeral.
I walked out of the graveyard after paying my respect to the grave and I almost jump out of fright when I saw Amemori-san waiting outside.
“Amemori-san, I never thought I would see you in our town..”
“I know you are curious about what you just saw but you don’t have to ask any question, I’ll tell you the whole story if you want but I hope that nothing will change between us after this.”
“Okay.” I feel nervous as I saw how his face shows how serious he is.
We walked until we reached the top of a small hill nearby and there he started talking.
“It was almost 10 years ago when I met Shizumi-san in the University. I was just a freshman and she was a second year student. We were in the same club and we always spend our time together until I asked her out for a date. She accepted it and we become lovers in a short period of time. I love her and she loved me too, everything was going smoothly until one day, her parents caught us dating when they made a sudden visit in the university. I have no idea that time how strict her family was and so I tried to defend her but in the end, I was thrown out by her and her family. His father revealed that Shizumi-san is already engaged and he will kill me if I try to interfere to their family again.”
“You don’t have to continue if it hurts you so much.” I said.
“I’m fine.” He said as he continues his story.
“That time, I thought everything was over but one night after a month of breaking up with her, she came knocking in my apartment while crying. I wanted to reject her but I can’t bare to see her crying and so I let her inside my place. She told me that she run away from home and asked me to elope with her but of course, I refused. I don’t want to cause any more trouble for her family and I was too scared of the death threath his father gave to me and so I asked her to just go back home. She started crying while pleading me until I gave in and told her that she can stay for just one night. She calmed down for a bit and then she asked me one last favor. It was a very selfish request, something too risky but she told me that she wanted me to be her first, she doesn’t want to give her virginity to the person she doesn’t love and so she forced me to do it for her.”
“So did you two do it?” I can’t help but ask him when he stop for a while.
“Yes, I was still young back then and I got easily tempted and so we actually did it. I was her first and she was also my first. It was an intense night and when I woke up, she was really gone. I didn’t have any news about her until three months have passed and she came running to me again. She was pregnant and that will be a real trouble for us. She asked me again to elope with her and because of my fear that she will be forced to to abort the baby if I let her be with her family, I accepted her offer to run away with her. I drop out of the university and run away with all the money my parents gave me for school and traveled to the another town to live with Shizumi. We managed to live together while I started working to support her and the baby we will have and that gave us hope that everything will work out fine but just a month before giving birth, we were found out by her parents. They came with a a group of guards that took me to beat me out while they drag their daughter back to this town. It was a miracle that I was saved by a patrolling policemen so I just end up being hospitalized for almost three weeks and luckily, my parents helped me recover and tried to help me search for Shizumi in this town but I was too late.”
My tears came down as I listened to his story and as expected it doesn’t end well.
“She committed suicide after giving birth to our child thinking that I was already dead. There was no information about what happened to the baby, so I suffered the pain twice thinking that I lost both of the most important person in my life. I beg to Shizumi’s mother to tell me about where is the baby but she told me that she doesn’t know anything.She told me that they already searched the whole place but the baby was gone. She beg for my forgiveness and cried desperately as she wanted her daughter to come back but it is too late. It was all their fault. If only they just accepted what Shizumi wanted then this will not be a tragedy to all of us. I lost all my temper that time and made a scene at the funeral. I cursed them, I threw many hurtful things to them and ruined the whole place before getting out with more bruises in my body after the guards beated me up again. That time I swear that I will find our child whatever it takes even if it will be just a grave, as long as I found it.”
“Have you got any closer in your search?”
“No, until now, I still haven’t got any clue where our child is. Every year, whenever I visited Shizumi’s grave, all I can do is ask for forgiveness, to say sorry for being so weak and a coward that time and for still not being able to find our child. If I only come on time to save her then she might still be alive and I can still see our child.”
He started to have a breakdown after letting out all the sad things he have experienced.
I gave him my handkerchief and let him cry in silence without interruption.
“You already did your best for them, I know she will understand if you still cannot find your child. Let’s just pray that the kid is happy somewhere.” I pat his head as I stand up and squat in front of him.
“You have sacrificed enough in your life. You even give up your studies for her and your child so you should stop blaming yourself for being a coward, just being with her that whole time and supporting her with all your love was already enough. She will understand if you start to move on from now on, it’s been 10 years so maybe it’s time for you to start again right?”
“But I’m still afraid. What if it all happen again? What if this cycle of tragedy repeat again? I don’t think I can handle that.”
“Then this time, you will not be alone anymore, I will be always by your side.”
“Did you just confess to me?”
“Huh? What? Ahhh! No! It’s not what I mean.” My face turned red as I realized what I just blurted out to him.
“I know, I’m just kidding.” He let out a small laugh while still wiping his tears.
“I should be going now, do you like to come with me? Today is my brother’s birthday so you can come if you like.”
“Thank you for inviting me but I should go back now.”
“Then have a safe trip. Goodbye.”
We went to our separate paths and as I walk down the hill, my thoughts keep coming back to the words I said. Did I just said something like that?
Really? Did I slowly learn to like him during all the times that we are together?
I analysed myself the whole day until I finally admitted it.
I fall in love again with a guy, but this time there were no probabilities to guide me if a relationship between us will work out.
After I came back to the city, I visited him again in his bar and I was surprised when he gave me a present.
“That’s a gift in exchange for the handkerchief you lend me back in the hill. I already ruined yours with all the tears and snot so I cannot give it back to you so I decided to give you that in exchange.”
I opened the box and saw a white handkerchief with my initial embroidered at the side of it. S. Nao.
Seasons changed and passed between us and I finally managed to build the courage to confess to him.
It was spring season and the cherry blossoms finally bloomed from the tree where I first him. I asked him to meet me under that tree and listen to what I have to say.
“I know this is too sudden and I understand if you will feel uncomfortable after hearing this but I don’t want to waste all the courage I build up so I have to say this personally.” I took a deep breath and raised my voice so he can hear it clearly. “Makino– I have fallen in love with you! “
“Nao… You know that I–“
“You don’t have to answer right away. I am willing to wait for your answer even if it will be a rejection, I just wanted to let you know and give you enough time to think and let it sink in.”
I cut him off before he can even say anything and I run away while covering my red face.
….
I never knew that I will regret what I did that time, I should not cut him off and just listened to what he have to say instead of being a coward of hearing a rejection.
Who would have thought that those cut off words will be the last thing I can hear from him.
He disappeared the next day without leaving a single trace. It is as if he never existed in the first place.
Author’s Note:
I’m sorry for the very late update this time.
(。ŏ﹏ŏ)
I recommend that you listen to 1年2ヶ月20日 (Ichinen Nikagetsu Hatsuka) by BRIGHT while reading this chapter.
Please enjoy the feels….(┛ಸ_ಸ)┛彡┻━┻