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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 48
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After Nao left us, I took a moment to cry in silence before dragging my brother back to my place. I throw him on the sofa in my living room before I locked myself in my room to bury myself in darkness.
I can never face Naoyuki ever again. Damn it! When did I become so dumb?!
That night, I dream about the time when I was in the university dorm. It was an unfortunate day when I have forgotten about Nao’s birthday for the first time because I was too stresses out of the endless confessions I was receiving that entire week.
It was one of the biggest regret I have in my life knowing how much I disappointed him as a friend. I wonder what could have change if I only tried to search for him that day instead of just casually calling him. Maybe even if it is a slight chance, I could have discovered my own feelings for him and reciprocate his love before he decided give it up.
The next morning, I woke up with the loud banging in my door followed by Satoshi’s annoying voice.
*knock**knock*
“Hisashi!!! Hisashi!!! Hey wake up!!! Hisahi open the door!”
*knock**knock*
I covered my ears with a pillow and hide myself under the blanket.
“Hey open up! It’s already noon! What’s wrong with you? Open up!” He continues making noise outside but I don’t have any energy to even get angry with him. I just want to be alone right now.
“If you don’t go out there on a count of three, I’ll break this goddamn door.” and now he’s making some threats out there.
“One– Two———Three” and there is silence. Hey I thought you’ll gonna break in? Why do you suddenly turn silent out there?
*complete silence*
Good, at least he knows how to give up early. Now all I need is to close my eyes again and go back to sleep.
*clink**clink*
Now, I can here something coming from my doorknob. It sounds like someone is trying to put in the wrong key to open it up.
Is this now the new way of breaking my door? By jamming out my door knob with a foreign object and possibly locking me in here forever?
Hey dude, do you know that this room is on the second floor and I have to climb down if I get really stuck in here? My brother really does know how to mess up with my life.
I stand up while still covered in blanket and walks towards the door.
“Ow it’s almost in.. just a little bit… and… Yes! I got in!” He forcefully push the door open and it directly slams into my face making me roll down into the floor.
“Hisashi! Told yah I’m gonna break in! Huh? Hey where are you bro?” He is too busy to boast his useless acomplisment that he didn’t even notice that he is stepping on me who is lying down flat on the floor wrapped in my blanket.
“Satoshi please stop stepping on me. My back hurts.”I speak down with a low voice.
“Ahhhh! Bro what are you doing down there?” He jumps away from me.
“It’s your fault for barging in like that! So what do you want? You can just leave without walking me up you know.”
“Well actually, dad is on his way to pick me up here.”
“What?! Dad is coming here just to pick you up? Are you a goddamn kindergarten student? Don’t tell me that you already get our parents involved in your plan of cancelling your engagement?”
“Oh well, dad was asking for me to go back to have a formal talk with them but I told them that I can’t go back until tomorrow so I guess he doesn’t have much patience when it comes to it.”
*sigh*
Why of all times do I have to get involved with this idiot’s problem while I am also heartbroken here.
“Okay, I’ll just take a shower and prepare some food before dad arrives.”
I walk in my closet and randomly pull out some clothes before going to the bathroom.
After taking a quick shower, I go to the kitchen and starts to cut some vegetables.
“Hisashi, I’m sorry about what happened last night.” Satoshi walks in and helps me chop some carrots.
What is he talking about? Did he actually heard the thing between me and Nao last night?
“Oh, well I guess it can’t be helped.”
“But still, I feel bad for you. Knowing Nao and–“
“You don’t have to say anything anymore bro, please it hurts.”
“Huh? Wait don’t tell me you actually got injured carrying us last night.”
“What? I don’t get what are you talking about.”
“Well I mean, knowing that Nao is also a disaster when he gets drunk, you really have a hard time carrying us both last night.”
“No, you are wrong. You are the only drunk last night. Nao and I.. we are both fine.”
“Oh. So what do you mean that it hurts? Hey don’t tell me that the things I have heard last night is not just a hallucination or a dream.”
My face burns hot when I realized that I have been caught by my own carelessness in choosing my words. This issue is going to be more serious than his engagement for sure.
“Hisashi if what I’ve heard is really true, then I hope that you can mend your friendship with him. I’m not against homosexuality or anything like that but I think, maybe your friendship is far more valuable than your old feelings of love towards him. You should try to fix it before it gets completely broken.” He taps my shoulder and fixed his gaze towards me while waiting for my answer.
“I understand. I’ll try to talk to him later.”
After an hour, dad arrived and we all just have a casual chat while eating before going back with my brother. At last, I’m finally alone again to do my solidary depression but after what my brother told me, I don’t feel like sulking home alone anymore. I need to pull myself together and go to work.
I arrived at the school just in time before the lunch break ends. Many students are still scattered around the hallways and some of them are from my home room class. They immediately swarm around me to ask why I am absent during the morning classes.
“Sensei~ why are you late?”
“Did you get into some trouble this morning?”
“Sensei are you sick again?”
They keep asking random questions and it only makes my hangover go back.
“Oh please everyone stop talking all once. I’m absent a while a ago because I have to deal with some family matters and nothing more so stop overthinking. Go back now to your classrooms if you are done with your lunch.”
I manage to sweep them all away from me but a single one remains after everyone left. It is Miyoshi-kun who is carrying a paper bag with him. He walks closer towards me and handed me the paper bag.
“I was a little worried about the way you act last weekend and so I brought your favorite slice of cake with me. I was really bothered when you don’t actually came to our class earlier but now that you are here, I hope you are really doing fine.”
“Miyoshi-kun you sounded like a real adult with the words you are saying to me you know. I’m happy to hear that from you and thank you for this cake but you should stop worrying about me too much.”
“I know that, but still… You promised that you will protect me in case of trouble and so I wanted to do the same for you sensei.”
“Well it is natural for me to care for all my students because this is part of our job, and as for you, as a student all you need to do study hard and focus on your own future. There’s no need for you to think about me all the time.” I patted his head before leaving him in the hallway.
I am really happy to have students who care about me especially Miyoshi-kun but I don’t want anyone to be involved in my personal issues and so I should just brush them all away equally.
When all classes finally ended in the afternoon, I immediately leave and drive my way back home. As I silently drive with my usual route, I accidentally saw Naoyuki going out of his car in front of the hospital. I slowed down and watch him walk inside the entrance.
It was strange, something is not right; that is what I am feeling as soon as I saw him walk inside. It is normal for him to visit the hospital because it is related to his job but right now, he is not wearing his working clothes and he isn’t even carrying anything as if he just coming for a visit.
I decided to follow him in and have the opportunity to talk. It was not my intention to eavesdrop on him or anything but when I reached the room where he went in, I heard his voice talking with someone else.
“Half a year.”
“Is there really no other options?”
“I’m very sorry Naoyuki but there’s no way to survive aside from having that risky operation.”
“I understand. Half a year, then how about before the year ends?”
“Well it is fine by me, whenever your family is ready for it.”
“I’ll let them know. Thank you.”
What the heck is happening here? An operation? No way to survive? And it is only half a year…
I am getting confused about everything I heard and so, instead of waiting for him to go out, I dashed out of the hospital and go home while still in shock.
He never mentioned anything about having a family problem nor any kind of illness so I don’t know anything about this operation. His parents are pretty healthy the last time I saw them and as for Koharu, I guess he is still the same energetic kid I know compared to Nao. But I won’t accept it if it is really something to do with Nao. How can I forgive myself for not being able to know that my best friend is suffering from an illness if it is really true.
While I am still having a mental breakdown, I did not notice that the door opened and Nao walks out of the room, we are both shock to see each other face to face.
“Hisashi what are you doing here?” His way of speaking is not the same way as he usually speaks. It more sounded like someone who is going to kill me after hearing their worst secrets.
“Oh– I am just passing by here—” I tried to nake an excuse but his sharp gaze makes me stumble into my words.
“Did you hear everything just now?”
“I swear it was kot my intention to eavesdrop, I just came on the wrong time.”
“Forget everything. Act as if you know nothing.” I never seen Nao acting so cold like this in my entire life.
“What do you mean forget? I don’t even know what to feel right now but all you are telling me is to forget everything? Nao please tell me everything, explain to me what is happening here.”
“No, I have nothing to explain here. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Nothing to do with me? But I am your friend! How can you keep secrets to me like that? Please tell me what are you hiding from us.”
“I am not hiding anything. This are all trivial things so stay out of the line.” This conversation only breaks my heart as he speaks more with his cold attitude towards me.
“Fine, I will believe you. But don’t you ever let yourself die or else I will forget the friendship we have for a very long time.” I run back to my car and drive home.
Why did we end up into another argument again? I thought that I can at least work things out about last nights issue but now I have to deal with another issue that is far more frightening than anything else. This is all getting out of hand.