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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 56
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The dark night was tainted with the red and blue lights coming from the ambulance and the police cars that arrived at the scene.
“Are you okay?!Kazuya are you hurt somewhere?” I panic as I lift myself up after falling down with Kazuya on the ground.
It was so fast that I didn’t expect that he will manage to react and catch my hands to pull me down with him as I push him away from the approaching truck.
“I- I think I am fine.” He smiled and slowly gets up. “It just hurts a little when you push me so hard in the chest like that.”
“I am very sorry, I just want to make sure that you are safe.” My tears fall down my eyes as all the worries and relief I felt mix together at same time.
“Yuki, please, please never attempt to do that again. Never ever think of sacrificing yourself for the sake of anyone, even if it is for me.” Kazuya started to cry too as he try to wipe all my tears that are unwavering from falling.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Kazuya.”
“An apology will never be enough if I ever lose you. You don’t have to worry about me or anyone. I will manage to find a way to survive and live on my own for your sake so please, you have to do the same. Focus on saving yourself more than anything.” he hug me tightly while we are still sitting down the ground.
The sound of the police cars and ambulance sirens flooded the whole area after detecting the incident that happened. Fortunately, Kazuya and I just suffered from small scratches from falling down the ground so we only needed a first aid treatment from the medical workers.
On the other hand, the driver of the truck that crashed was discovered drunk and end up having arm and back injuries so he was brought to the hospital immediately.
After giving our statement for the police reports as witnesses, we take a cab to go back home. I decided to drop off Kazuya first in his house before asking the driver to take me back to my place.
The supposed to be sweet and romantic night together turns out to be a sad and almost tragic night.
*sigh*
“I wonder how badly it will be if I will be the one who breaks your heart Kazuya.” This question that I wasn’t able to finish if front of him, I wonder if he will get mad if he hears it.
At that moment, when I saw the truck coming towards us, terrifying probabilities pop out in front of me.
Kazuya dying: 68%
Yourself dying: 22%
The balance of the probabilities I am keeping as a secret was disrupted at that moment. I thought I am doing great balancing out the probabilities but what has happened only proved me that there is really no escape, there is no way that I can balance our probabilities of dying. In the end, I have to choose who I am going to save.
To be more precise, this balancing problem actually started a long time ago, it even exist back before I officially met Kazuya at the streets and saved him from that 50% probability that night. This balancing of probability originally involves only me and another person but when I stepped up and saved Kazuya and prevented his death, the cruel game of the moving probabilities of three people started.
I lied to everyone. Yes, I know that it was a little unfair and cruel to keep the truth and only tell a half truth to Kazuya and Hisashi but I still think that it is the best thing I can do. I am afraid of what will Kazuya do if he ever know the truth about the balancing game of death.
Everything I told Hisashi and Kazuya about seeing my own exact probabilities was a twisted lie. The reason why I keep telling them that it was too late and it cannot be change is because it clearly depends on my own choice of letting myself to die or letting another person to die and take away all the probabilities of dying of the remaining ones.
His probability of choosing to sacrifice himself for my sake is an absolute percentage of 100% and I will never accept that idea. Dying on my own is fairly enough to save two people, and that is what I have already decided despite Kazuya begging for me to live and save myself.
I went out of the veranda to get some fresh air and clear my mind when I notice the pot of dandelions I got from Kazuya. i stared at the newly bloomed flowers and as I slowly pick it up to hold it closely, all the pain that I have been carrying flowed out through my eyes.
I cannot even imagine how much it will break Kazuya when the day I have to end everything between us finally comes.
“Please grant my only wish. Please don’t let Kazuya take the blame after I die. All I wanted is for him to live his whole life happy and complete with all his dreams coming true.” I blow one of the dandelions and solemnly make a wish.
The dandelions which I blow elegantly float away from my veranda and into the silent summer night.
That night, after a long night of struggling on falling asleep, I end up staying awake until 3 in the morning until my body can no longer take it and I have no choice but to sleep.
The moment I dive into my sleep, I’ve got the worst nightmare I can never imagine.
It was as if I am forced to watch the replay of what happened earlier today but is a little different. Instead of a calm and breezy summer night, it was raining. We were walking side by side while holding a pair of umbrellas when the speeding truck came to our direction. I already know what to do at that moment but when I turn towards Kazuya, he was on the other side.
He pushed me out of the away and as I slowly fall to the ground\, I just witness how his body hit the truck and his blood splatters everywhere. *thud* *crash*
I get up and run towards his body but it was too late, he was already dead. My mind went blank as I screamed and shake his body desperately to wake him up. The blood and rain came together until my eyesight was covered all over and all I can see are random percentages coming out all at once.
12% 6% 76% 13% 98% 44% 39% 51% 17% 23%……
“Please STOP!!!” I shouted out and at that moment, the nightmare ended and I am back to reality. Good thing that I manage to wake up because of the sound coming from my phone.
I open my tearing wet eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while before looking at my phone which is still ringing.
*Koharu Calling…*
“Good morning Nao-niisan.” he greeted me with his usual cheerful voice.
“Oh good morning. What’s up?”
“Actually, I just got my recent check up with Shinjiro-san and I think he will ask us to go there together when the results are out. I just want to inform you so that I can make sure that you will reserve a time for it.”
“Okay, I got it. Don’t worry because I will always take you as my priority.”
“Thank you nii-san. “
“No problem, just take care always.”
“Yes, you too. Bye bye.” And then he hang up.
I stand up and pulled out my secret journal from my bedside table and open it up. I flip the pages until I reach the blank pages and decided to write a note for Kazuya at the middle of the blank pages. It may sound a little depressing to write something like a farewell and so I choose to write a love letter dedicated for him instead, to make him feel a little better once I am gone and he end up finding out everything that was written here.
I folded the page after writing everything I wanted to convey towards him and continues to flip the pages until I reach the last few pages where I write the balance of the 3 probabilities.
Kazuya – 51%, 32%, 17%
The percentages seem a little too high for Kazuya and have to do something about it. I just hope that he will not notice anything unusual considering the fact that he also has the ability just like mine.
Author’s Note:
Hello again everyone. ✧(>o<)ノ✧
I’m very sorry for breaking my promise about updating immediately after 3 days. (。ノω\。) Seriously, sorry for the delay.
I understand that many of your are bothered about how this story will end, but I assure you.. the ending will be satisfying so you don’t have to worry anymore. 😉
I hope everyone is safe and doing well. Please take care wherever you are. (~ ̄³ ̄)~
❄️🌸🌻🍁