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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 65
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Shinobu Naoyuki’s POV
DECEMBER 18
Just as what Shinjiro and I feared, Koharu’s heart condition significantly worsen in just a mere week that have passed. Our family decided to just let Koharu stay in the hospital where Shinjiro works to let him be monitored and ensure that he will be alright in case of emergency.
I made an effort to visit him every day in the hospital after my work and for each day that I watch Koharu suffered from his illness, the more I feel miserable because there is something that I didn’t say to anyone…
The truth is that Koharu is the third person in the balance of life and death between me and Kazuya. Yes, he is the real reason why I am desperate to sacrifice myself. The three percentages of probabilities that I have been watching and trying to balance belongs to the three of us.
All I ever wanted is to take away all the risk from Koharu and Kazuya. I wanted them to live because I believe that their lives are more important than having to live my whole life while losing both of them in the process.
“Nii-san, are you okay? You are spacing out since you came here.” Koharu who is sitting up from the hospital bed asks me as I constantly stare into the percentages flashing between us.
Koharu 36%, Kazuya 26%, Naoyuki 38%
I wonder if Kazuya already figured out the strange balance he is seeing whenever he checks my probability of dying is just a piece of a three-way puzzle of our lives.
“I’m fine, you should worry more about yourself. How’s your heart today? Are you feeling light headed?”
“You don’t have to ask that because Shinjiro-san already keeps asking those questions whenever he checks on me here every two hours. I am more worried about you nii-san. You always look exhausted every time I see you. Maybe it is better not to me visit me every day so you can at least rest.”
“No, I promised mom and dad to check on you every day.”
“I can just call them if they wanted to check on me instead of making you go here.”
“But- “
“No buts. I will prohibit you to visit me until your eyebags and that exhausted look on your face is gone.”
*sigh* “Fine\, I won’t be here tomorrow. I will just spend the entire weekend on a date with Kazuya.”
“Hey that’s not what I want. Why would you even like to spend two whole days with that—that.” I look at him while shooting a glare as I wait for an insult that he will make for Kazuya. “Arggh! Fine! Just make sure to visit me on Sunday and bring me snacks.”
“Hahaha, okay, I promise so be a good boy and follow what Shinjiro’s order.” I smiled and pats his head before standing up to leave.
“See you on Sunday.”
“Yeah, I might bring Kazuya with me on my next visit.”
“I don’t want to see him.”
“Then I will just bring your roommate with me.”
“Hey, that’s not what I mean.”
“Hahaha, you should look forward to it.”
“Hey, wait! Nii-san, please don’t bring anyone with you- “
I managed to lighten the mood between us before leaving the room. I made my way to the corridors as I head to the elevator when I spotted Shinjiro walking fast towards me.
“Nao, I’m glad that you are still here. I have something to tell you.” He grabs my arm and pulled me inside his office. “I have good news for you! I finally got a hold of a donor for Koharu.”
“What? Really?”
“Yes, I really didn’t expect that we can have a donor as soon as possible. It feels like the odd is on our favor this time.”
“I’m glad to hear that. So, when will be the operation?”
“I will be working on its schedule as soon as I can and if possible, I wanted to be the one in charge of it so you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Thank you. I am really lucky to have you as a friend. It will be very hard for me if you are not here for me and Koharu so I am really thankful to have you.”
“Hey stop flooding me with compliments. I will only accept your gratitude once the operation is successful.” For the first time, I witness Shinjiro getting flustered over a simple wave of compliment.
“Well I just want you to know in advance… just in case I won’t be here when it is done.”
“Are you planning to go somewhere? Wait don’t tell me that you are planning to go abroad?”
“Maybe, something like that. Well, never mind, just focus on your upcoming operation. I will be going home now and tell my parents the good news.”
“Sure. Drive safely on your way. Good night.”
“Yeah, you too. Good night.”
I take a deep breath when I am finally alone inside my car and I just stayed silent for a long time before I hear my phone ringing.
*ring**ring*
(Kazuya Calling…)
“Yuki, I am just calling to ask if you are already home? … I just finished my work so I wanted to ask if I can spend the night in your place…”
“Oh, I just got out from the hospital. But don’t worry, you can just go inside and wait for me to get home.”
“Okay. I will be preparing our dinner while I wait for you.”
“I will be looking forward to your cooking, I wish that I can just go home as fast as I can.”
“Hey, you don’t need to rush. Drive safely okay? I will be patiently waiting for you always.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Oh, I am already at your front door, I will hang up now so you should start driving home too.”
“Okay, see you.”
…..
I should happy. I should be thankful that I still have the chance to spend my time with Kazuya but why do I always feel sad? Why do my conscience keeps eating me away every time I act as if everything will be okay? I wonder if Kazuya is having the same feeling as mine? What if he is just like me, trying to act happy and strong despite of the fear of losing each other every single day we open our eyes?
All I wanted was to be with him until the end, but my feelings keep tormenting me. I am already tired of playing this balancing game with fate. I should have just ended it from the moment I realized it already started.
I started driving home and trying to calm myself and forget all the depressing things before facing Kazuya. I don’t want to show him my crying face ever again because I know that it is and it will be more painful for him once he knows the whole truth.
“I’m home.” I said as I enter my place and smells the aroma of the food the he is cooking in the kitchen.
“Welcome back! The food is almost done so you can take a short shower before we eat.” I walk in the kitchen and saw him stirring a sauce in a pot, while wearing the apron I bought for him.
“Meow~” Naoya rubbed his head into my legs as he circled around me.
“Hey Noaya~ How’s your day? Did Kazuya overfeed you again?” I lifted Naoya into my arms and gently stroked its fur.
“Meow~”
“I didn’t overfeed him; I just give him a little snack when I came in because he keeps messing around while I am cooking here.”
“Is that so?” I kissed his nape while giving him a quick hug before running to the bathroom.
“Ahh! Hey that’s unfair! You always take your chance whenever I am off guard but you never give me a chance to kiss you anywhere.”
“It is because you are too slow for my quick attacks.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Someday I swear that I will steal a kiss from you and it will leave you mesmerized for a long time.”
“I will be looking forward when that time finally comes.” I wink at him before finally entering the bathroom.
“Hey! Wait did you just forget to bring in towel and clothes with you?” he came running after me when he saw that I walk straight the bathroom empty-handed.
“Oh, just bring it in here if you don’t want me to get out *****.”
“Oh-oho are you provoking me? What if I just go in while you take your shower?”
“I’m just kidding. I’ll just get it now.”
“No, you don’t have to… I am willing to get it and I can volunteer to wipe you dry with a towel and dress you up.”
“Nope. I am not looking for a volunteer for today.”
“Ehhhh, just let me help you dry your hair at least.”
“No, I know that you are just planning to get a chance to make a surprise kiss with me.”
“No, I am not. I just want to- “
“Hey, is that the burning sauce I am smelling right now?” I interrupted him when I notice the strange smell coming from the kitchen.
“Ahhh! The sauce! I forget to turn off the stove!” He quickly run back to the kitchen to save the burning sauce of our meal giving me the chance to run and get my towel and clothes.
After finishing my quick shower, I walk back to the kitchen and saw the burnt sauce from the pot while he is busy cooking a new one.
“Do you need any help?” I asked.
“No need, just stay still and behave like Naoya.”
“Meow? ~” Naoya who is sitting in the kitchen counter immediately responded after hearing his name.
“Okay, meow~” I answered him teasingly as I sit down and watches him continue cooking.
“I didn’t ask you to speak like a cat too.”
“Sorry, I’m just teasing you… meow~”
“Yuki, stop teasing me or else, we won’t be having a decent meal tonight.” I can see how his face slowly turns red while listening to me making cat noises.
“Sorry. Nyannn~”
“….” He didn’t respond anymore because he is too serious in mixing the sauce and maybe he is afraid to mess it up again because all the ingredients has been used up already.
After spending 10 minutes just watching him do all the cooking while stroking Naoya on my lap, the meal is finally done.
“This is my first time cooking this dish so it took some time to prepare and I hope that it tastes good.”
“Don’t worry, you never once made a meal that is not delicious. Right Naoya?”
“Meow! ~” Naoya is really a smart cat to know when exactly to respond.
“Don’t use Naoya in flattering me. Cats have a strange taste when it comes to food you know?”
“But I am just telling the truth. You are my best chef. I am even willing to build a restaurant for you someday if you want to, nyaan~.”
“Really? Is my cooking that good?”
“Yes, I am serious.”
“Well, if you really say so then I will believe that.”
“By the way Kazuya, your birthday is just a few days, away right?”
“How did you know? I think I haven’t mentioned it to you.”
“Well haven’t you forgotten that Makino, no I mean your father told me about the day you were born? And besides, I already saw your birth registration from the orphanage when I went there.”
“Oh, I almost forgotten about that part. So why are you asking about my birthday?”
“Well it is on Christmas eve, right? I am planning to do something special with you on that day but I just want to make sure that you don’t have any other plans or work scheduled on that day.”
“I don’t have any scheduled plans on that day. I am also planning to ask you out but you get ahead of me.”
“Are you sure? Don’t you have any party with your classmates in the university?”
“We actually have one but I have no interest in attending that kind of gathering especially when I don’t really have close friends there.”
“I see, then I think I have to really make you feel special on that day…”
“I’m getting excited, should I buy some cond-“
“Stop thinking about lewd things Kazuya.” I stop before he can even finish saying the word condoms.
“But it will be my special day, so can I at least do what I want?” he looks at me with those pleading green eyes and I cannot help but feel my heart flutter.
“I will think about it.”
“Then I am really going to buy some- “
“Hey stop talking about it, Naoya can hear us.” I think he really wanted to say that word badly today though I wonder if he can really but that thing without getting embarrassed in front of the cashier just like what happened last time.
“But he is a cat, he doesn’t care about those stuffs.”
“But it is still awkward when Naoya is watching us like a little kid.”
“Pftttt… Yuki you really sounded like a mom to Naoya.”
“And who are you? His dad? You are more like his grandma, the type who loves to spoil their grandchild with foods.”
“But seriously, what do you plan to do on my birthday?”
“It is a secret. But be sure to dress nicely on that day.”
“Eh? Are you bringing me into one of those fancy restaurants again?”
“Well, something like that, I guess. I already made a reservation and I am expecting you not to wear casual clothes like the last time.”
“Okay, how about I wear the clothes you bought me a long time ago? Is that fine?”
“Yes, I think it will suit you very much.”
“Oh, and one more thing, I need you to help me choose a gift for Koharu.”
“Huh? A gift for him and not for me?”
“His birthday is just a day after yours and I was too preoccupied in preparing for your birthday so I almost forgot buying him a gift.”
“I see, I will start thinking of a good gift for him.
“By the way, his operation will be coming soon so I think I won’t be going home during those days and I will have to stay on the hospital, is it alright if you stay here and take care of Naoya during those period?”
“Of course, you really don’t have to ask me about that. You can always count on me.”
“Thank you.”
“And besides, I am also praying that Koharu’s operation will be successful. You know, last time I also tried looking into the probability of him having a successful operation, and I am happy to see that it is very high and it makes me feel at ease knowing that.”
I hold down my spoon for a second when he mentioned about looking into Koharu’s probability. I am nervous and it felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown into me. What if Kazuya already figured it out? What if he accidentally solved the puzzle?
“I’m happy to hear that, but you really don’t have to watch out for Koharu’s probabilities, I am already checking on it all the times so you don’t have to worry about him.” I tried to convince him without being obvious.
“Well if you say so, but I will still look into yours as much as I can do.”
“If that will make you feel at ease then it is fine with me.”
…..
DECEMBER 24
The most special day for Kazuya finally came and he was so excited when I greeted him personally first thing in the morning.
It is my very first visit inside his home and I don’t even know what to feel when I saw my gigantic photo displayed on the living room. Somehow, I feel like it already looks like a memorial photo of me because of all the pot of flowers placed on the table just below my photo. Just adding an incense and a closed jar and it will definitely look like an altar for me. I just face palmed my face as I keep imagining silly things while I am looking around his place.
We just spent the whole day together in his home while I try cooking a meal for him and fortunately, the meal I prepared looks presentable and taste decent. After having our lunch together, we spend the whole afternoon watching an old movie in his room while cuddling together in his small bed and we almost sleep through the night but luckily, my scheduled reservation in the restaurant sent a notification on my phone reminding me about it which makes Kazuya and I wake up and panics while we dress up semi-formally.
I drive my car and went to the restaurant with Kazuya and it feels so romantic having to spend our time together as a couple during the cold Christmas Eve.
I already got my present for him but I forgot to give it to him while we are eating and so the present is still in my pocket when we came back to my place.
“Kazuya, here is my present. Happy birthday.” I give him a small box wrapped in a blue wrapping paper with a red ribbon on top as soon as we step inside my doorway.
“Oh, thank you very much. Can I open it now?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
He carefully unwrapped the box and when he opens the box, he gets a little teary eyed.
“Yuki, this- “
“Yes, I also wanted to give you a ring just like what you gave to me and so I bought it just for you.”
He pulled out the ring from the box and he just stare at it for a long time.
“Tú Eres mi Vida? What does that mean?” he finally saw the engraved that I put in his ring just like how he engraved something on mine.
“That is a secret for now.”
I get the ring from his hand and casually put it on his left ring finger. After that doing so, I take off the necklace I am wearing that he gave to me and pull out the ring from it.
“Can you put it on me?” I asked him when I handed the ring to him.
“Of course.” He took the ring and put it on my left ring finger. “It feels like we just got married right now, I feel so happy Yuki. You really know how to make me feel so special.”
“Yes, I know that it will be a special present for you. From now on, I will proudly wear this ring on my hand without caring what others will think.”
I grabbed his hair from behind and pulled his face closer to mine as I reach for his lips and give him a kiss. I thought that he will be caught off-guard and get flustered again when I kissed him but surprisingly, he reacted so fast as if he was anticipating it all along. He holds me tightly and kissed me back as he let our tongues intertwined until I can taste the aftertaste of the sweetness of the caramel left in his mouth. It was the most intense kiss we ever had and I cannot help but to yearn for more.
“Yuki, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We pulled ourselves together again as we continue kissing until we reached the living room and bumped into the corner. I stumbled down and end up falling down the sofa as we continue doing our passionate kiss.
He slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he stays at the top of me as I stay lying below him.
“hnng…” I tried not to let out my voice but I cannot keep it down when he started taking off my pants while touching the bottom part of my body.
“Don’t worry, I will do my best to be gentle.” He whispered in my ears as he caressed my thighs.
“oww\, wait a minute!” I accidentally kicked him when he suddenly touches my **** without giving a warning.
As my foot hits him, he falls backwards and ended up falling down the floor.
“Hisssss! Screeechhhh!!” A hissing sound filled dimly light room and it makes us startled by the sound not until we realized that it was our cat Naoya hissing nonstop after Kazuya unintentionally landed on its tail.
“Ahh! I’m very sorry Naoya! I didn’t notice you down there. Please forgive me!” Kazuya tries to pet Naoya’s head but it seems that he really made the cat angry because as soon as he put his hand closer, Naoya immediately slaps it away.
“Oww that hurts.”
“Hissssss!” Naoya glared at him before jumping up into the sofa and settled into my lap.
“I think Naoya is very mad at you now.”
“Naoya I am really sorry but can you please move? We are in middle of doing something you know?” he tries to convince the cat to leave my lap but Naoya didn’t even move an inch.
“Hissssss!!!” When Kazuya tries to touch him, Naoya got angry again and started threating him with its sharp claws.
“Oh, so now you are threatening me huh? After I spoiled you with unlimited snacks, you have the courage to interrupt my romantic time with Yuki, want to fight?”
“Hisssss!!” Naoya started throwing punches, or rather paws equipped with blade like claws towards Kazuya’s arms that tries to approach me.
“Pftttt… Ahahahahaha!” I started laughing at them and it totally ruined the perfect erotic atmosphere between us earlier.
“Hey Yuki at least help me out in removing Naoya from your lap.”
“No, I won’t do that. I don’t want to make him hate me just like how you make him dislike you.”
“But it was an accident, and it was your fault for suddenly kicking me earlier.”
“Hahahaha. Whatever. I think Naoya and I have to sleep together now. Happy birthday again and Goodnight!” I turned on the lights in the living room and started walking to my room.
“But- “
“Noaya say goodnight to daddy Kazuya~. Nyannn~” I said to tease him more while I carry the cat on my arms as I walk.
“Meooww~” Naoya said and it was a perfect timing when I started opening the door of my room.
“Yuki~ Wait up!” He tries to stop me from entering but it was too late.
“Good night~ Love you~ nyaan~” I winked at him and makes a flying kiss before closing the door.
DECEMBER 25
The next day, I was surprise to see Kazuya lying on the sofa while still wide awake.
“Hey, why didn’t you sleep on the guest room? Did you spend the whole night here?” I feel a little bad seeing him spacing out after not being able to sleep the whole night.
“Hisssss!” Naoya jumped on the top of his chest and started slapping his face to wake him up from day dreaming.
“Ahhhhh! Naoya stop! Ahhhhh! Stop!” Kazuya sit up straight immediately when he snaps back to reality.
“Naoya stop bullying Kazuya. What if you make him cry? Nyaan~” I pull the cat away from Kazuya and put him down to the floor. He rubbed his head to my legs before walking towards the kitchen.
“By the way, do you want to go with me to the hospital to greet Koharu for his birthday?”
“Is it really okay for me to show my face there? What if gets worked up in teasing me and makes his heart go haywire?”
“Don’t worry, I will be there with you so he will not have a chance to bully you.”
“I am not being bullied by him; he just loves annoying me every time he has a chance.”
“Yeah, I know. We should be going now before his roommate comes to visit him.”
“Okay, let me wash my face first.”
When we arrive at the hospital, Koharu just finished his morning checkup.
“Koharu Happy Birthday!” I walk inside while carrying the box containing my present for him.
“Thank you, I am really happy to see you so early in the morni- “
“Happy birthday Koharu!” Kazuya barged in late because he got a hard time searching for a lighter for the candles of the cake we bought. He slowly walks closer to Koharu and presented the cake.
“Make your wish.” I said to him as I let myself hold the cake to let Kazuya take pictures with his camera.
“Okay, but why do you have to take pictures of me blowing my birthday candles?”
“Ah, that is my idea so don’t mind him taking pictures. I wanted to send it to mom and dad because they cannot come until tomorrow afternoon.”
“I see. Then don’t you dare make me look ugly in any of those pictures that you will take okay?” he threatened Kazuya before blowing the candles.
After that, he unwrapped the gift and he is so happy to see my gift from him, it is a drawing tablet that he can use while he is still inside the hospital.
“Thank you very much! How did you know that I wanted this?”
“Well actually, Kazuya was the one who suggested it knowing that you came from the arts department and considering your major, we thought that you really feel bored in here.”
“I see. You finally did a good job for me.” Koharu smiles a little towards Kazuya.
“And don’t forget that I also got something for you.” Kazuya pulled something out from his pocket and proudly put it on Koharu’s hand like a dog who just pick up something for his master.
“Eh? What is this?” A bunch of papers filled Koharu’s hand and I almost laugh out loud when I realized what is it.
“Coupons and gift certificate from the convenience store. I really wanted to give you a large box full of chocolates but Yuki told me that you cannot eat that for now and so I think that those gift certificates will do for now. You must become recover fast to be able to use that quickly so do your best! Fighting!” Kazuya who is still proud of his gift explained briefly.
“Pfttttt, hahahahahaha. I don’t even what to feel about this but thank you.” Koharu laughs so hard and so the laughter that I have been holding back also came out.
“Why are you laughing?” Kazuya asked with a puzzled look.
“Nothing. We are just happy.”
…
After cleaning up all the mess we made inside the room, we just spend the time talking together and it is fun seeing the two of them looking happy talking together. I have to left them for a while to answer an incoming call from my patient and when I came back, they are still talking about something that makes me a little nervous. I wonder if they have talked about Kazuya also having the probabilities.
51%, Kazuya 21%, Naoyuki 28%
I accidentally lose grip of my phone when I saw the probabilities flashing around the room where the three of us are inside.
“Yuki are you okay? Is something wrong?” Kazuya picks up my phone from the floor and worriedly looks at me.
“No, the phone just slips from my hand, don’t worry.”
“I see. I think we should go now, we already stayed here for too long.” Kazuya is still worried and it clearly shows into his face when we walk put of the room.
“Koharu, Happy birthday again and just wait for your roommate, I am sure that he will come.” I told him before leaving the room.
“Are you really alright Yuki?” he asks again as soon as we are far from Koharu’s room.
“I really alright, you don’t have to worry about every little detail of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize about that. Let us just go and eat lunch together to the newly opened restaurant nearby, is it alright for you?”
“Anywhere is fine as long as I am with you.”