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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 66
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Suzuki Kazuya’s POV
DECEMBER 28
1:45 PM
Today the weather is nice.
University is still on break and today, I don’t have any work schedule. I brought a lunch for Yuki in his office during his lunch break and I actually planned to stay with him in his clinic for the whole afternoon but he suddenly received a call from his dad asking him to come to the hospital immediately.
Yuki left the clinic immediately and asked me to take care of Naoya in case that he cannot go home early tonight and so I decided to just stay in his place for the rest of the afternoon and wait for him.
“Naoya, I’m here~” I greeted the cat as I enter Yuki’s place but I didn’t see him in his usual spot on the living room.
“Naoya~ Where are you? Want some snacks?” I keep searching for him around the kitchen while carrying a pack of his favorite snacks but I cannot see him.
*scratch**scratch**scratch*
I heard a scratching sound coming form Yuki’s bedroom when I passed by it and so I slowly opened the door and there, I saw Naoya busy scratching a journal on the top of Yuki’s bed.
“Ahh! Naoya stop that. You’re going ruin Yuki’s precious journal.” I snatched it away and notices that there are already a lot of scratches made.
“What should I do with this?” I desperately trying rubbing the scratch marks hoping that it will disappear.
“Meow~” Naoya innocently stared at me.
“What? It is your fault for messing this up. What if Yuki got mad with us?”
“Meow!” Naoya started jumping trying to grab the journal back from my hands.
“Hey stop it!” I accidentally dropped the journal when Naoya scratched my arms with his claws.
*scratch**scratch* he jumped down from the bed and started scratching the journal on the floor.
“What is wrong with you? Are there some snacks hidden inside that? Huh?”
“Meow!”
Now that I think about it, I never got a chance to ask about that journal to Yuki after I saw it last time. I am starting to get curious about what is written inside but I don’t even have the key to open it…
KEY….
Wait, What? A key?
I actually have a key!
I suddenly remember the key that Yuki gave me back when we just barely know each other and got drank together.
Ahhh! Why did I forget about the existence of that key?
I run back to the living room to get my bag where I put that key which I almost forget sometimes.
After getting the key, I run back to the room and pick up the journal. I sit down on the bed and surprisingly, Naoya didn’t bother me anymore and instead, he just watches me as I nervously insert the key to the lock which perfectly goes in.
“Yuki, please forgive me for peaking in your journal without permission.” I said before twisting the key and hearing the clicking sound of the journal being opened.
Maybe it is safe to assume that Yuki gave me the permission to look inside since he was the one who personally gave me the key while saying that I can use it someday.
Maybe that ‘someday’ is today.
As I flipped the first few pages, all I can see are his messy writings of random percentages that somehow doesn’t make sense at first glance. The sloppy writings slowly became a little organized after a few more pages and I will assume that it was the time when Yuki slowly grows older and became more organized. The journal has more than 800 pages and as I keep turning the pages that was used, I think he already used more than half of it just by filling it up by percentages of random probabilities with small notes on the side.
When I reached the last page where the writings stopped, I feel a little disappointed because I thought that it will have something more interesting that needs to be locked away and kept by Yuki. Maybe I should just close it back and pretend that I didn’t see anything.
As I was about to lock it up, Naoya suddenly jumped into my lap and slaps the journal causing it to fall down the floor for the second time.
*thud*
“Hey Naoya stop trying to destroy Yuki’s journal.” I pick it back but notices that something that slips out of the closed journal. I reopen the journal from where the piece of paper is peaking out and saw that it was actually a folded letter that was stuck in between the pages of the journal. I wanted to open it immediately but my attention got caught by the writings I saw on the pages of the journal itself and so I put the folded paper on my side first.
Why didn’t I even think about the possibility of him writing use the back pages of this journal? Finally, I can see the proper journal entries that I am really anticipating to see after opening this journal. As I started reading the entries.
Various dates and specific events were written down along with the probabilities. I continue reading it until I reached certain dates that makes me shiver.
It was dated at December 30, last year. The date when we first met after I got into a street fight.
December 30,
I saw this strange guy on the restaurant and at my first glance at him, I feel as if I already him but I don’t even know if I actually met him before. I secretly followed him after the commotion he caused on the streets and from there, I saw an alarming probability.
Probabilities of that Person Dying: 50%
Without hesitation, I approached him and tried my best to pull him away in whatever danger was approaching him. After making sure that the probabilities disappeared, I left the scene without even asking for his name.
February 14,
Kazuya and I officially started dating. I am very happy but something started to bother me after that night. The balance of probabilities between Koharu and I dying got Kazuya mixed up with it.
For the first time, I saw a three-way ratio of probabilities…
Koharu 30%, Kazuya 30%, Naoyuki 40%
March 15,
Koharu’s test result came and Shinjiro keeps asking me to decide about the operation but I cannot decide at the moment because of a certain probability I’ve been looking over.
Operation’s Successful Rate: 61%
April 30,
It was my birthday and as I spend the whole day with Kazuya, we ended up falling asleep in the park for a few hours and when I wake up, I can feel his sleeping soundly while leaning on my shoulders. As I observe him closely, I saw the ratio yet again.
Koharu 26%, Kazuya 33%, Naoyuki 41%
As I keep reading through all the events written down, I feel horrified knowing the biggest secret that Yuki has been keeping after telling us the probabilities of him dying soon. It was just a portion of the truth. He was trying to keep the secret about the three-way balance. I keep reading all that was written and noticed that the percentages started to change significantly allowing to have one person have a probability of more than 50% which is very dangerous.
December 25,
We visited Koharu for his birthday and I thought that the balance is going up for me which I keep wishing but when I saw it today, I feel like time is running out for us.
Koharu 51%, Kazuya 21%, Naoyuki 28%
After realizing that his last entry stopped at December 25, I slammed it down and almost throw it.
What the hell is he trying to say? Is he trying to kill himself? Is he trying to take away the 100% and then die just to save Koharu and I?
All this time, I thought that he is just trying to deal with a single moving probability but he really lied to us by keeping the whole situation as a secret.
Is he doing this just to make sure that I won’t take away all his plans and so-called responsibilities to save us?
Damn it! If only Koharu and I know it beforehand, then maybe we can talk these things out with him.
I can still remember what Koharu told me back when we came for his birthday and Yuki left us together in the room for a while.
“Kazuya, I will only ask one favor from you, please take care of Nao-niisan whatever happens in the future.”
“Hey why are talking like that?”
“Just promise it to me. I don’t even know if I can survive in my upcoming operation and niisan cannot even give me the true probabilities of me surviving so I am asking you to please, please be there by his side whatever happens. Please don’t let him feel alone, don’t let him blame himself, don’t let him hate himself for not being to save me because I clearly know how much he cares for me more than how much he cares for himself. Please Kazuya, I won’t ask for anything so please take care of him.”
“Yes, I promise. But, please also make a promise to me that you will do your best to survive. Please don’t let yourself give up and die so easily. You still have the responsibility to watch how Yuki and I grow old together.”
“Okay, I promise. I will do my best.”
“Look, why are we even being dramatic on your birthday? Please stop stressing out about everything, just think positive okay? You still have to use all the coupons that I gave you before it all expires.”
“Hahaha, yeah I know. I will make sure to use it and buy all the chocolates that I want from that convenience store.”
Now that I think about, did Koharu already guess that something is really going? It really feels like a cue, a piece of puzzle that slowly getting together.
“Meow!” Naoya interrupted my train of thoughts. He bit the folded paper that I took out earlier and gave it to me. I unfolded the letter and realized that it was delicately handwritten by Yuki and is addressed for me.
It took some time for me to finish reading all of it because my tears keep flowing down as I read each word from Yuki.
Out of the blue, the probabilities which are the same as what is Yuki was seeing appeared before my eyes. A very strange three-way ratio of our probabilities.
Koharu 0%, Kazuya 1%, Naoyuki 99%
No! It can’t be! I stand up and leave to search for Yuki because he may be in danger in any moment or worst-case scenario, he may be planning to actually commit a suicide.
2:00 PM
I grab my phone and run outside as fast as I can and upon reaching the roadside, my eyesight turns black and when it turns back to normal, several percentages started clouding over my sight. I tried my best to focus and remove the probabilities I am seeing but it keeps coming back.
I don’t have any extra time to stop and deal with these crappy probabilities getting out of control, I have to find Yuki first, I said to myself to keep going forward.
I continue running despite of suffering from my clouded eyesight and as I keep running and crossing the streets without caring about the street lights…
*beep**beep**beep*
“Are you trying to kill yourself?!”
*beep**beep**beep*
“If you want to die, do it somewhere else!”
*beep**beep**beep*
“Hey you punk! Are you crazy!”
I was almost hit by some cars three times in a row as I run while I am almost blind but luckily my probability of dying is really that low for me to die at the moment and even if I try to throw myself into the river I will most likely survive it with just small injuries.
I am almost halfway from the hospital where Yuki is supposed to be right now but my instinct is telling me that he may be somewhere else and so I decided to call him and just ask him directly while I continue to run and head to the hospital’s direction.
“Yuki, where are you?” I ask immediately as soon as he answer but at the same time, he also asked me the same question. “Kazuya, where are you?”
“Kazuya please calm down and tell me, where are you?” it seems strange that he sounded like he is the one getting more nervous than me.
“I’m on my way to you, please tell me where are you Yuki? Are you still inside the hospital?”
“No, I am on my way home, I thought that you are still there.” I am now getting confused because it seems like he is in the middle of driving his car and is really heading home to meet me.
“Yuki please stay wherever you are, I’m on my way.” Please stop driving or you might be in danger.
“No, I am on my way too.”
“Yuki please listen to me, stop the car and stay where you are, I will be coming for you.”
“But Kazuya, I need to. I have to save you!”
“Huh? What- “
“Just listen to me.”
“No, just tell me where you are.” I know that our argument will not even lead us into a proper conversation so I decided to stop talking for a second and let him explain his reason for going home.
“….” I am anticipating for his explanation but he also turned silent for almost one minute and all I can hear is his heavy breathing.
“Kazuya, I’m very sorry. Please forgive me about what I am going to do now, but please remember that I love- “ He started speaking again but I accidentally dropped my phone without even hearing what he was saying when I suddenly lost my balance and end up falling down because the ground suddenly starts shaking violently.
There is an earthquake and everyone around me stops moving. I just stayed down and realized that all of the probabilities that were blinding me all faded out letting me see clearly again.
I saw my phone a few steps away from and decided to crawl down and reach for it but out of nowhere, I heard a loud noise coming from above.
“Watch out!” somebody screamed at me.
I slowly turn my head up to see what is going on and as I look up, I witness how a dozen of steel beams slowly falls directly above me.
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
Okay guys, please calm down. I know this is a shocking chapter but there are still more to see in the next updates so RELAX and please don’t hate me.. (\T^T)
And starting today, I will be updating the next chapter every 3 days until we reach the ending so stay tuned and stay calm. 😉
~ciao