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Private Requests - Chapter 9
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It was already late on a long and tiring day at the practice rooms when Johnny had let himself out into the cold night air. His mind was a swirl of thoughts fighting amongst each other but he found himself stopping by the figure who was sitting huddled on the edge of the stairs.
“Yuta?” he asked, his tone incredulous.
The figure moved slightly. “No, umm, it’s not me. Please ignore and move on.”
Johnny crouched down beside him. “Didn’t you go back with the others? Since when have you been outside here? You must be freezing.” He reached for his hands and it felt like he was holding ice.
Yuta giggled. “Everyone is too fucking busy. Taeyong was busy with Jaehyun. And Winwin…well, **** him. He thinks he’s a prince.”
“Are you drunk?” Johnny helped him to his feet but he could see how he was swaying.
Yuta smiled. “Just a tiny bit. It feels amazing. I can’t feel anything. Take that Winwin!” He threw an empty can towards the fence.
It was then that Johnny realized that Yuta was sitting with a bunch of mostly empty beer cans throwing them at an anime version of Winwin he had drawn clumsily on the fence.
They walked back to the dorm together, stopping for coffee but not finding comfort, each lost in his own thoughts. It was three-thirty in the night when they let themselves into the dorm. Maybe it was something Yuta had said but Johnny was already leaving again, feeling slightly hopeful that he could work things out with Ten.
“You’re going to Ten right now?”
Johnny nodded.
Yuta took a deep breath, looking slightly green. “Okay, good luck. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Oh, should I help?”
“No, please. Go away now.”
Johnny grinned as he watched Yuta grumbling in the dark. He said, “Yuta, it’ll work out with Winwin. I’m sure of it.”
“Johnny, there’s nothing going on to work out. You’re reading too much into my drunken rants. I don’t mean half of the things I’ve said. This isn’t me but the drinks talking. So, don’t worry about me and just go. Now. Before I throw you out of the door.”
Johnny quirked an eyebrow at the slightly swaying figure but knowing his friend had closed the discussion, he quietly tip-toed over to the room Yuta shared with Winwin and Taeil.
“Winwin?” he whispered, tapping the sleeping guy’s shoulder.
Winwin cursed sleepily.
“I think Yuta is sick. Could you take care of him? I have to leave.”
He sat up. “What happened?”
“Had too much to drink, I guess. Just—”
But Winwin was already rushing out of the room.
Winwin was totally sure that this was a bad idea but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but agree when Yuta said he wasn’t tired and a movie wouldn’t be a bad idea. In fact, as they squeezed together in Winwin’s bed and balanced the laptop precariously on the blanket, his brain was screaming “BAD IDEA” in all of the languages he knew.
“Shut up,” he mumbled.
Yuta frowned at him. “I didn’t even say anything.”
Winwin stole a quick glance at him. There were so many questions he wanted to ask him. His nerves were still on edge, mind still processing sleepily what had happened.
Johnny had woken him up in the middle of the night and told him Yuta was sick. Maybe he should have asked for more details but he had rushed off to help Yuta. Now, he wanted to know why Yuta was drunk and being sick in the washroom at three in the morning. He wanted to know where Johnny had disappeared in the middle of the night without telling him anything. Most of all, he wanted to know why Yuta was behaving like nothing had happened. As if finding your roommate drunk was no big cause for concern when said roommate had a fixed early-to-bed schedule otherwise.
Are you okay?
“What do you want to watch?” Yuta asked.
His voice was so calm that it jarred Winwin. Was he overthinking this? Was Yuta upset or was this just an after-effect of a night of drinking. “Huh?” He thought for a bit when the question was repeated. “I don’t know. You pick.”
They ended up watching 5 Centimeters per Second and truth be told, he could have done with something happier. He didn’t like the idea of two people losing to time and distance, but he wasn’t really watching the movie. The Japanese dialogue was the only sound in the room and maybe, he should have read the subbed dialogues but he was so busy trying to figure out Yuta…Yuta who sat beside him, eyelids drooping with sleep every now and then, who never looked away from the screen even once.
His brain was full of warning bells. He could feel this wasn’t just about Yuta but also somewhere about him. Was it something I did? But he hadn’t done anything. He had steered clear of the Japanese boy, done nothing to show….He shook his head. No, he had done nothing. It was late and he was just overthinking. His eyelids were drooping and unable to watch the movie or focus on his thoughts comprehensively, he gave up.
The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Yuta leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. Winwin remembered reaching over to push away the blonde strands of hair that were falling over his forehead. He didn’t remember the movie ending.
When he woke up next morning, he smiled to himself, enjoying the warmth of the covers, still not fully awake. It was only when he rubbed his face against his pillow that he realized with a start that he was, in fact, not hugging a pillow but squishing Yuta. He was so shocked he nearly fell out of the bed.
He closed his eyes hoping Yuta wouldn’t wake up and see how flustered he was. He let out a breath when he realized that the other boy was still peacefully sleeping. He got out of bed quietly and was in the process of tucking in Yuta when a loud shout came from downstairs.
Winwin froze as Yuta shifted. His eyes blinked open and Winwin could see his eyes widen as Yuta realized how close Winwin was to him.
Quick, damage control. Winwin cleared his throat. “Uh, I was just about to tell you to wake up. It’s uh morning.” Sicheng, seriously? “Also, Yuta hyung, you slept in my bed again!”
Yuta closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.” He got up and asked, “What’s the ruckus about?”
“I have no idea. I’m going downstairs to check out,” Winwin said, doing his best to look as nonchalant as possible.
“Give me two minutes, I’m coming with you,” Yuta said, flashing him a smile. “It’s probably just Johnny coming home after making up with Ten. They had a huge fight earlier.”
“Oh? I knew they were having it tough but I didn’t know they had a fight but you’re right they can’t stay mad at each other for long.” He smiled fondly, thinking about his friends. “Be quick. I don’t want to miss their dramatic, sappy homecoming.”
Yuta emerged from the washroom a few minutes later, looking all awake and clean and Winwin had to tear his eyes away with a scowl because, of course, Yuta had to pull on a shirt only after prancing about for a good minute.
“Show off,” he whispered under his breath.
Yuta walked up to him and looking at his blank stare, Winwin felt, for a second, like maybe he should apologize. He opened his mouth but Yuta smiled, tilting his head to a side in his characteristic manner.
“Thank you, Sicheng-ah, for taking care of me last night and I’m sorry for being a burden,” Yuta said. “I—thank you.” He patted his shoulder and turned towards the door.
Winwin followed him. “It’s no problem. You shouldn’t apologize. Just umm…is everything okay? Why were you drinking?”
Yuta stopped in his tracks and let out a small laugh. “You’ll know when you know, I guess
Winwin walked downstairs to the breakfast table, hair still slightly damp from the shower. He was humming a tune merrily despite having woken up early. It felt that it was going to be a good day. His room that he shared with Yuta and Taeil had been surprisingly quiet and empty. He wondered where they were. Probably working out somewhere. He shook his head, smiling. They had great will power to do this early in the morning.
It was too early for breakfast to be ready so he would have to do with cornflakes, he guessed. Maybe call Kun for a sandwich. He was in the mood for a sandwich. A nice double decker sandwich with a tall glass of litchi juice.
“Oh, Winwin, good morning.”
“Winwin, did you have a good sleep?”
Winwin stopped short.
Standing dangerously close to each other but still somehow managing to ignore each other’s presence stood Yuta and Taeil. Both of them had dazzling, expectant smiles.
“Uh, good morning? Why are you-“
“I prepared some breakfast for you.”
“I prepared some breakfast for you.”
They looked at each other with slightly strained smiles. Winwin saw that both of them had laid out sandwiches and glasses of juice for him. He wanted to feel grateful but instead he could already feel a headache climbing to his temples. He had an idea of what was coming next already.
Yuta raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you did too? It’s alright. Winwin can have yours then.”
Taeil frowned. “No, no, it’s fine. Winwin-ah can have yours.”
“Taeil hyung, I really don’t mind.”
“But I mind if your hard work goes to waste.”
Yuta swept his hair back, jaw set tight. “It’s a big day for Winwin.”
Taeil nodded. “I agree. We shouldn’t argue over such a trivial thing. Not that we’re arguing.” He cast a quick look at Winwin.
“Exactly my thoughts. So, you’ll agree if we just spare Winwin the ordeal of this. He can have yours.”
Winwin sighed and opened his mouth but they were already arguing. He watched as they stood next to each other, getting redder by the minute, being extremely polite in their arguments but still very much arguing.
“I told you I’m making breakfast for him.”
“But I was in the kitchen first.”
“I woke up first.”
“That litchi juice is going to give him a sore throat anyway.”
“Your double decker sandwich is going to cause him indigestion.”
That was it. He had to intervene before they woke up everyone in the dorm. “Oh my god, can you two stop?”
Yuta and Taeil stopped immediately, both of them blinking, suddenly aware of the situation.
“Can we just not argue like this all the time?” Winwin said. “I keep telling you guys that I don’t want this-this idiocy. It’s really not funny. I wish you both would just let this charade die already.” He couldn’t understand why he was getting worked up. But he was. He felt like shouting but was grateful that his voice was low. “You’re taking this whole ship joke far too long. So just don’t.”
Yuta looked like he had been slapped. He drew in a quick breath. “I’m sorry, Winwin-ah.” He swallowed and walked out of the room. They could hear his footsteps on the staircase as he walked up to their room.
“Winwin,” Taeil said, walking towards him. “We didn’t-we don’t…seriously, it’s not like you think.” He placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I know, okay? It’s not like anyone thinks and that irritates me even more.” There was a harshness in his tone that shocked Taeil who drew back quickly.
“I remembered I had to get some groceries,” he said suddenly. “Good luck for today. See you later.”
Winwin stared after him long after he had left the house, the door closing slowly behind his retreating form.
“Might as well eat the breakfast,” came a voice from the living room.
He nearly jumped out of his skin. “D-Doyoung? You scared me.”
Doyoung put down his phone and got up from the couch. He looked at the spread on the table and nodded appreciatively. “There’s enough for two. Let’s have breakfast. We can talk while we eat.”
Winwin gave him a look. “Uh, we’re not talking because there’s nothing to talk about.” He wanted to ask how he had been there, what all he had heard and what did he make of it but he just couldn’t. Glancing at Doyoung’s calm but determined face he had no choice but to sit down and pick up a sandwich.
Doyoung watched Winwin reposition the sandwiches and juice so that he had a combination of double decker sandwiches and litchi juice. “I didn’t know Taeil hyung and Yuta hyung would actually get up and cook for you. I’m even more surprised this is edible.”
“Both of them are good cooks. They just never want to cook,” Winwin said, gulping down the food. “Why are you up so early? Were you planning on making breakfast for me too?”
Doyoung snorted. He pointed to a paper bag on the counter. “I thought you could deliver something for me since you are going to meet the WayV members today.”
“Oh what is it? Is this a celebratory gift because the last WayV teaser is releasing today? This is so sweet. Thank you,” Winwin said, grinning.
“It’s not for you. It’s for Ku—” Doyoung paused as the doorbell rang.
They stared at each other.
“You go open it,” Doyoung said quickly.
“I’m eating.”
Doyoung hurriedly popped some food into his mouth. “I’m eating too. Besides it’s probably your delivery.”
“You’re the hyung.”
“That’s why you should listen to me.”
Winwin pouted. “It’s a big day for me. Open the door as a gift.”
“I’ll give you an actual gift later.”
The bell rang again.
“Everyone is going to wake up but I suppose it’s just Kun ge come to get me. He can wait outside while I eat, I guess,” Winwin said, very innocently.
Doyoung was already on the way to open the front door. “Kun, hi.”
“Hey, Doyoung. You’re up early.” Kun smiled warmly. “Is Winwin up?”
Doyoung smiled back at Kun who walked in. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s up.”
Kun was wearing a simple sweater over jeans, immaculate and in control. Even his expressions were careful. Nothing to betray that he was as excited as Winwin for their upcoming debut. But then, Doyoung remembered that Kun was also nursing a heartbreak under the calm, easy-going smile. That was the thing about Kun. You never knew what he was thinking and Doyoung wanted to know everything.
“Kun ge, morning! I’m nearly done. Want to have some breakfast? Oh right, take that paper bag on the counter before I forget. Doyoung hyung got it for—”
Doyoung’s eyes widened as he heard Winwin. In record time, he reached the paper bag and quickly handed it to Kun. “It’s for Ten. It’s for Ten.”
“Okay.” Kun nodded, smiling at what seemed like a very excited Doyoung. “I’ll make sure that it reaches him.”
“They’re donuts. You can have some too. They’re really good. Uh, if you like them, you could have the whole thing. I’ll buy some for Ten later. Just keep the whole thing. Or don’t. Share it with the kids.”
“Okay, I’m done,” Winwin said, getting up. “We’ll have that talk later or preferably never. Bye. We’re going now.” He dragged Kun out before Doyoung could say anything about their pending ‘talk’.
As the door shut, Doyoung let out a groan. “Ugh, what was I even saying? I’m so stupid. Should have just kept my mouth shut.”
–
When Taeil left, citing groceries as an excuse, he hadn’t really meant to go to the cornerstore but that’s where his feet took him. It was just his thing. He liked the place even though the woman behind the counter—known to him only as ahjumma—was really impatient and often threatened to throw him out for loitering in the aisles.
It was quiet, mildly air-conditioned and there was no concept of time there. He could spend hours just glancing over the snacks in the aisles or sitting at the glass windows with a steaming cup of ramen; time would slow down.
He braced himself for the retort the ahjumma would send his way for coming here in his pajamas. However, there was none. Soon, he was walking across the store, seemingly looking at the items but actually replaying the breakfast scene. Sure, Yuta and him often bickered over little things related to Winwin but surely it was all harmless. He didn’t mind and he knew Yuta didn’t too. Winwin himself had laughed about it several times, directing some quip Taeil’s way too. He liked sharing jokes with Winwin, he liked seeing him smile and he wanted to impress him so bad.
Lately, Winwin had begun to distance himself from him, though. He hadn’t said anything. Just a careful sidestepping here and there. Just enough for Taeil to know that he wasn’t taken seriously by the other boy. He didn’t want to feel the hurt that came with such a realisation. He wish he didn’t have to feel any of it.
He found himself sitting at the store’s windows, absent-mindedly stirring a cup of ramen and for the first time in years, he felt lonely. He hadn’t even finished taking his second bite when he choked over his food, coughing and spluttering, face reddening.
“Mr. Customer, have some water,” the employee behind the counter said urgently, bringing him a paper cup. He patted his back as Taeil downed the glass and took a deep breath. “You should pay attention to your food.”
“Thank you…” Taeil looked for a nametag on this new employee. “Azhar?”
Azhar corrected his pronunciation slightly. “Are you okay now?”
Taeil nodded, looking around. “Where’s the ahjumma?”
“Oh Mrs. Kim? She left. I’m her replacement. Nice to meet you.”
Taeil looked even more miserable. He had been coming here since over a year and ahjumma—Mrs. Kim—hadn’t even said goodbye. He thought they had some sort of acquaintance even though it was mostly her snapping, “Young boy, I’m warning you if you steal anything, I’m calling the police.”
He got up. “Thank you for your help. I’ll leave.”
The employee nodded. “Just wear this when you go out?”
Taeil frowned at the face mask he was being offered.
“You’re kind of recognizable and you might get ambushed if you go around like that.”
Great, so the new employee knew who he was. He couldn’t even mope around in his favourite store anymore. Nevertheless, he took the mask before he left.
–
Yuta had been staring at his phone screen for far too long. He hadn’t realized it but the video that he had put on had changed more than a couple of times. His mind was elsewhere, regretting everything. He rubbed his eyes, feeling so upset with himself. Why couldn’t he forget it, him, everything?
At first, it hadn’t been like this. Things had been easy between Winwin and himself. It had been a surprisingly easy friendship to acquire, something that helped them both. They were both foreigners. Yuta just had more experience and he had promised himself to look out for the younger one so that he wouldn’t have to go through the painful homesickness that Yuta felt even now.
Things change. Or rather sometimes, they stagnate. Winwin and himself were still where they had been. Easy friendship where he looked out for Winwin and Winwin looked out for him. Always the little things. The larger picture was turning out different for both of them, Yuta realized.
What had happened in the morning was just one of the many, seemingly meaningless, heat-of-the-moment kind of things that had happened recently but all these little things were adding up to a pattern.. Slowly, Winwin was drifting away and Yuta had thought he would be able to handle it. He had been wrong.
“Yuta?”
Yuta looked up from his phone at the person peeking into his room. He felt disoriented suddenly, some random video playing on his phone as he bowed his head quickly so that his hair would cover his eyes.
It was Johnny. “May I come in?”
“No,” Yuta replied, turning back to the phone screen.
Johnny entered the room nevertheless, finally sitting at the foot of his bed. “It was a rhetorical question.”
Yuta pretended that he couldn’t hear anything over his earphones. To be honest, he really wanted to lie holed up in his room forever. He wished there had been some schedule today. Anything to take his mind off the argument he had had with Winwin. It wasn’t often that Winwin was outright in his words but this morning he had not only been disappointed at them but also angry.
“I heard from Taeyong who heard from Doyoung that Winwin went off at Taeil and you this morning,” Johnny began. When Yuta didn’t reply he went on softly, “Did you really throw a pillow at Taeyong and tell him to **** off?”
“I might have,” Yuta said, reddening.
“He is so upset right now. I thought something horrible happened when he came to me just now, babbling about how much Yuta hates him.”
Yuta put down his phone. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He groaned. “I kept on telling him to leave me alone. Seriously, there is nothing wrong. I just want some me-time to spend on Youtube. Can’t I have that?”
“Of course, you can, but if you’re facing something that is hurting you, you needn’t do it alone and in silence,” Johnny said. “Just let us help you and if we can’t then you can throw all the pillows at us and we’ll leave it at that.”
“You and Taeyong can’t relate, Johnny,” Yuta sighed. “It’s different for you guys. You aren’t…” He blinked back and trailed off, looking miserable. “Where is Taeil hyung?” he asked.
“Jungwoo went to get him from the corner store.”
“Good, I was getting worried for him.”
“Jungwoo said he asked about you too.”
“We understand each other, I guess. I mean, we bicker but we understand what both of us are going through.” Yuta closed his eyes and laid back. “I can’t believe I thought getting up to make breakfast for Winwin was a great plan. It’s probably lying in the trash right now.”
“Yuta.” Johnny looked at him, sadly.
He got up. “Fine, I need your help. Help me apologize to Taeyong.”
“You’re very bad at changing the subject.”
Yuta smiled. “I’m going to do what I can right now. Apologizing to Taeyong is what I can do. Sorting my shit? Maybe later.”
note :its not so hot story like the others 😅hope you like it, I myself don’t know what I did with it