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Riftan’S POV - Under The Oak Tree - Chapter 25
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Did he think that everything would stop and the man would wait for him? If you had such an expectation, even a little, you would be an arrogant idiot.
He rubbed his throbbing head and quickened his pace. He just wanted to go back to the room and sleep peacefully. He didn’t want to open his eyes for at least two days.
However, when he arrived at Castle Croix, his desire to take a break disappeared. It was annoying to go to the room and be nagged by the commander and the other members about his hangover. He trusted them, but he didn’t want to show signs of weakness.
Riftan began to stroll through the garden and headed for the path through the sparse forest. It was the same shortcut he walked carrying firewood and charcoal on his back as a boy, his headache slowly beginning to subside.
He leaned on his back under a beautiful tree and took a moment to breathe. Then, suddenly, he realised where he was and hardened his face. Riftan sighed as he gazed at the grey-white architecture seen through the dense trees. He couldn’t believe he had been wandering to this spot.
He dropped his shoulders and emerged from the trees like a man weary from a long journey. The garden he saw countless times in his dreams came closer and closer to his eyes. But it was completely different from what he remembered.
Riftan frowned at the desolate landscape. In the thicket where there were lush flowers, there was now a lot of dry undergrowth and it was strangely quiet all around.
“… You don’t come here anymore?”
He picked up a dried flower and touched it with his fingertips. Perhaps since he had started living away from the castle, they had neglected the upkeep of the garden.
Riftan laughed, even the place of his memories had deteriorated. He lost all energy to the point where he couldn’t help himself. Standing confused and rubbing his back, he slowly turned around ready to return.
At that moment, he heard the sound of laughter in the garden place, holding his breath, he turned his head again. However, he could not see any other person in the garden. Riftan, who went blank and faced the wind, sensed someone not far from where he was standing and quickly headed that way.
On his way back to the outbuilding, he found Maximilian Croix sitting on the ground and playing with a cat. He drifted over and looked at her. She was wearing a modest maroon dress, completely different from the one she had seen in the banquet hall.
Her hair, which had been curled tightly so as not to be dishevelled, was naturally matted and gently sloping over her shoulders, and there would be a ruddy blush on her pale face.
A sharp pain came into his chest. It was like his fantasies. But he didn’t want to fall back in love with her like an idiot.
Riftan turned around quickly before he was aware of her presence. At that moment, a voice that was so soft it was hard to understand paralysed him.
“D-do…. Do you like me….?”
As if drawn by a powerful force, Riftan turned his gaze. She lay on the floor and spoke with a straight face to the charming cat. Though amused by the scene, he did not feel like laughing.
As if the cat had understood him, she bent her supple neck and rubbed her head against the hem of her dress, and a smile tugged at her mouth. She hugged the cat gently with both hands and whispered like a child playing with her doll.
“Well th-then… Uh, anyways… W-will you be by my side?” It was a surprisingly unsteady and pathetic voice.
Riftan rubbed his ribs, feeling a tingling in his chest. The loneliness around her was so clear she could have touched it with her hands. In that moment, he felt closer than anyone else.
He looked helplessly at her face and then stepped out of it as if fleeing.
[‘If you look up you will be unhappy’] His stepfather’s voice whispered in his ear like a hallucination. “Why did I forget? I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have seen her. I shouldn’t have realised she was still alone.”
Riftan covered his mouth with a trembling hand. She was always somewhere in the back of his mind, he should never have found her or even noticed the ease with which she could capture him with presence alone.
She had been deeply rooted in him before he even realised it was love, before he tried to protect himself with a hard shell. Yet he worried that the paradise he had loved would be shattered.
Suddenly, Riftan was engulfed in an unfamiliar anger and walked roughly. What does it matter if she is lonely or not?”
He could not understand the woman who had lived in a huge castle under the protection of her wealthy father. “Have you forgotten the fear-filled eyes with which I watch you? Stop it now. How long are you going to live with the memories of your past days?”
He was trying, he had not even gone behind the castle and neither did he attend a banquet if possible. But her presence still irritated his nerves, like thorns stuck under his fingernails. It was amazing how easily he could find her in such a large castle.
He could easily discern her footsteps, no matter how far away they were, and he could hear her whispering little voice. All his senses seemed to seek her out. Just watching her pass by from afar made his nerves stand on edge.
He was aware that he was too aware of her, but he could not control his own reaction. He did not know what to do with these unfamiliar feelings.
When he was young, he couldn’t remember feeling anything like this. As a child when he thought of her he was flooded with feelings of tenderness and affection, seeing her laugh warmed his heart.
But what he felt now was an incomparable emotion, intense and unpleasant. When he thought of her, he felt a pressure in his heart, instead of a sense of satisfaction, and something emerged like a strange need.
At one point, he was going to attend the banquet hall dressed in the best way he could because he had a great need to talk to her. But as usual she only showed her face for a moment and left the hall as if running away.
When she left, he felt like an idiot as he had been in front of the mirror for about an hour to look presentable.
Riftan, hiding his despondency, asked Hebaron in an indifferent tone.
“Hey, do I look scary?”
Hebaron, who was drinking wine as if it were water, looked at him with wide eyes. Instantly a sign of amusement floated across his face.
“Is there a lady who trembled with fear when she saw you?”
Riftan barely kept his face expressionless. He did not want to admit that there was such a lady, it would be a secret he would take to his death.
Trying to wipe the expression of being discovered from his face, he approached and said seriously.
“Lately the leader has been bothering me with ‘Cultivating my social skills’ or something.”
“Is that why you’re so well groomed lately?”
Hebaron made him shiver from head to toe. Riftan gripped the handle of his sword at his waist.
“Do you wish to die?”
Hebaron acted exaggeratedly scared and shrugged his shoulders.
“I know what’s going on. That arrogance is the main problem! There’s no point in making a joke for you to laugh at and instead of amusement I only get a threat. First of all, people like us shouldn’t cause fear in people when they approach us. People don’t avoid us, but instead you are a statue of pure arrogance.”
Riftan shut his mouth tightly at a reasonable comment. Hebaron didn’t stop there as if he wanted to seize the opportunity right now, and criticised him.
“Besides, lieutenant you have a gloomy atmosphere. When you watch me in silence, my heart freezes with fear. With what guts would one speak to a person who sharpens his sword in a banquet hall as if he were on the battlefield? Even well-trained knights are afraid of you and it is no wonder that noble ladies are frightened.”
That meant it would be hard to avoid his frightened look unless he changed his behaviour.
For the first time, Riftan felt envious of this guy’s character. Hebaron was about half the height of his body and weighed much more, but he could naturally fit in with anyone.
He took a sip of wine, hiding his frustration.
“By the way, you’re already thinking about it very seriously.” Hebaron said with a sudden expression. “Are you determined to finally assume the position of commander?”
“… Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Riftan spat bluntly and stood up.
Hebaron frowned as he tried to explicitly avoid the order.
“Most of the boys who joined the Remdragon Knights were out of admiration for you. There’s also Uslin Rikaido, who refused to join the Royal Knights. Everyone thinks Riftan Calypse will be the next boss! How long are you going to keep denying it?”
“Don’t talk like it’s nothing.” Riftan watched him with angry eyes.
Hebaron Nirta was the son of a fallen aristocrat and possessed characteristics distinctive to nobles. Even if he was just like him, a former mercenary, he was a better choice for commander, and he was in last place. It bothered him so much that this guy wouldn’t mind being the next commander.
“There are plenty of conservative nobles who will object. Where is the need to deliberately add to the knights’ disadvantage?”
Hebaron snorted. “We are heretics anyway. No matter what the nobles say, we just have to prioritise our rules.”
Riftan anxious due to the ignorant and simple logic, escaped the bustling banquet hall. Now was not the time he could hold his gaze for a moment.
He had many things to worry about. But what were they? He unwrapped the ornament from his collar and combed his hair neatly.
The dull victory feast would end the following week. And with this also the fool who dressed as a clown to attract a girl’s attention.
When he would leave Croix Castle, it would be goodbye forever. Riftan looked up at the dark sky and returned to his room.