Chapter 80
“So, what was going on in there?” Jackson asks softly as we move through the
quiet halls, glancing over his shoulder as we go.
“Don't you know?” I ask, frowning up at him.
He just looks at me blankly, not answering.
“Well, then why did you interrupt?” I ask, confused. Because it’s one thing if
Jackson interrupted because he knew that Alvez was going to be a creep, but
quite another if he interrupted for...well, why else would he have interrupted?
“I don't trust that guy,” Jackson sighs, the words slipping between clenched teeth.
“Something’s...off about him.” He moves his eyes to me again, searching my
face. “Was I wrong?” His words are tense.
I sigh, shaking my head. “No, you weren't wrong, Jackson,” I say, looking forward
as we climb into an elevator and Jackson presses the brass button, closing he
doors. “I was...very uncomfortable in there.”
Jackson grunts in a self-satisfied way, pleased I think to have his instincts
confirmed. “I
don't like the way he looks at you,” he says, quite soft. “I knew it was going to be
trouble when he gave me that note, asking you to come alone.”
“How did you know the note said to come alone?” I ask, looking up at him.
Jackson turns, instantly frowning down at me like the answer is obvious.
“Because I read it.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head at him. “Jackson, you can't just read my
mail.
“I was helping you!”
“That's not an excuse!” but I'm smiling, and he smirks back at me, figuring out
that I'm not actually mad. Because he really did help me — I'd have been in a very
tricky situation, I think, had Jackson not come pounding on the door.
“Don't let yourself be alone with him,” Jacksons murmurs as the elevator raises
us up into
the air. “Bring Rafe or..or come get me. Or something.”
“All right.” I say softly, studying my mate’s profile as he pretends not to notice that
I'm looking at him. And inwardly, I wonder how the hell he's justifying this whole
hero act to himself.
Because, I mean, it’s pretty obvious to me that Jackson is protective of me
because some part of him knows, deep down, that I'm his mate or that I'm
special to him, in some way. It's happening, I think, on almost a bodily level he’s
driven to ensure my safety by the same biological mechanism that makes a hen
protect her chicks. But how...how the hell is he justifying it to himself?
He must know, my wolf says to me, sitting back on her haunches and turning her
head curiously in Jackson's direction. He must have figured it out and he’s just...
playing it cool.
But as I study him, I'm not so sure. Jackson — he’s smart, but in some ways he’s
so outside of our world, our culture. Would he be able to pick up on the little clues
that Ben noticed, which might communicate to others that I'm a girl?
Or, like Luca, would he even be willing to address his attraction to me, if he feels
it? I've heard that Northern communities are much, much less progressive with
things like homosexuality and gender fluidity. Even if Jackson did feel a stirring
towards me, would he let himself go there, the way Luca was so willing to?
I sigh as the doors open to the dormitory floor, shaking my head at my mate,
wishing I could just...ask.
“What?” Jackson asks, stepping out of the elevator and turning his attention back
to me. “Why are you sighing? What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” I murmur, shaking my head as I continue to look up at him, at the stark
panes of his face. “I just....wish I had you figured out.”
Jackson almost stumbles a step as we walk down the quiet hall
almost, though. He's too graceful, really, to actually do that. “Me?” he says in
disbelief, gesturing towards himself. “You think I'm the mystery here?”
I smirk a bit, my eyes dancing, silently admitting that he’s right that I'm certainly
the one keeping secrets. “You've got them too, you know,” I say quietly as we
reach the stairs at the
end of the hall and begin to climb them up to my floor. “Things you're keeping
back from
Jackson's the one who sighs now, shaking his head. “I'll gladly tell you everything
you want to know — every single thought in my head, Clark, for the secrets you're
keeping from me.”
Guilt builds in me as we make our way to my door. And
radiating from the entire hallway, from the silence bemehow, by the quietness
my own door, I know that I'm
the only one here that Jesse and Rafe are away, probably exercising. That Luca
and Ben are likewise off doing their own thing.
It would be so easy, to just...tug Jackson inside...
To tell him everything...
But even as my wolf howls at me to do it do it do it, I shake my head up at
Jackson, knowing that it’s still not right. Not yet.
Jackson sighs again, intuiting the direction of my thoughts, knowing that I'm still
holding
on to my secrets.
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SE )
And again, it's not that I don't want
. pas
him to know. It's just...as always, the
Sn , 5 ;
timing. It's not right. Not now not
) S : 5 > :
when I'm still figuring things out with
) )
Luca, when we've got finals and the
Examination looming, when Jesse
and Rafe still think I have one mate,
. 5 Sn 3
even if they think it's different people.
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It's just not right to blow up everyone's world with this, not yet.
I stare up into my mate’s dark blue gaze, willing him to trust me, to just...give me
more time. But he just snaps his head away, frustrated.
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« ” . :
Jacks,” I murmur as he shifts his
weight, taking a step away. I grab his
hand, ignoring the pulse that pounds
through the hall when I do. He turns
back to me, his jaw clenched in
f : « : ” f I
rustration. “I promise,” I say quietly,
a “ i
shaking my head. “I promise that one
) : . "
day I'll tell you everything, all right?
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“Why one day?” He exhales the words all in a rush, shaking his head at me, even
as he moves closer. “Why not now, Ari? What's what's holding you back?”
But I shake my head as I stare up at him, knowing that the reasons why I'm
holding back are part of the secret. “Can't it be enough? The promise that I'm
going to tell, as soon as I can?”
“Would it be enough for you?” he murmurs, stepping closer. Despite me, my eyes
flicker half-shut as his scent floods my nostrils, making something warm and
hungry stir in my core. God, if I could just...
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I dismiss the ridiculous impulse to
beg him to give me his shirt so I
could tuck it under my pillow,
breathing in that scent all night, and
force myself back to full
: : )
consciousness. To my surprise, he's
just smirking at me. The content is
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chapter there!
“Goodbye, Clark,” he says, putting particular emphasis on the farewell that he
usually omits. “Tell me next time Alvez calls you alone. I'll think something up.”
“Thank you, Jackson,” I say, tightening my hand, not letting him go just yet. “You
saved met from...some weird stuff back there.”
“Are you going to tell me about that, at least?” Jackson presses, shifting his
weight back to me curiously. “Like what did he do? Did he...”
But my answering smile just makes him groan and pull his hand from mine,
because it’s very clear that I'm not going to tell him a damn thing