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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 47
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Arakata Hisashi’s POV
Yesterday was Nao’s birthday and I wanted to celebrate it with him like we always do but he already have plans with someone else this time and so I decided to just to simply stop by to his place to greet him and give the present I bought.
I thought everything will be fine but in the end, I still end up sulking the whole day after I almost caught Nao and that brat having a lovey dovey moment yet again. Indeed, my timing is always messed up. I thought that I can finally let go of all my feelings for Nao after accepting that brat Kazuya for him but on the end, I really can’t control this heart of mine.
Unconsciously, my feet brought me in front of the cafe where Miyoshi-kun is working and so I decided to stay there for a while to cool my head off after seeing Nao and that brat.
“Do you want to order anything else aside from black coffee? How about your free coupon for cream cheese cake?” Miyoshi-kun asked me after bringing the coffee I ordered.
“I’m not in the mood to eat anything right now.”
“Sensei are you sick? It’s my first time to see you reject to eat your favorite cake.”
“Stop overreacting brat, I just want to have a taste of bitter coffee so go back your work and stop bugging me here.” I send him away before he asks more.
“Yes sir. Just call me if you change your mind and I’ll get you the biggest slice.” and finally he left me alone.
I take my first sip of the black coffee that I haven’t tried for so many years…
“Ackk. So bitter.” I flinch a little as I swallow it down.
Why the heck did I even order this kind of drink? Beer taste better than this.
*sigh* I don’t want to drink this coffee anymore but I don’t want to waste my money\, after all this is more expensive than the regular coffee they have here.
I look down my own reflection from the black coffee in front of me wishing that it will taste less bitter when it turns cold…
“I think you need a little help with your coffee so I brought you some milk and sugar cubes sir.” Miyoshi-kun winked at me and set it down my table.
“I didn’t ask for this.”
“But your face is asking for it. You like you are about to cry when you take your first sip.”
“Fine, I’ll take it. Thanks.”
“No problem sir.” He walked off smiling like a proud idiot.
I poured the milk and add on three sugar cubes before stirring it down. I take a little sip to taste it and I’m glad that the bitterness is gone but the sweetness is still lacking for me. I added five more sugar cubes and stir it back happily while anticipating the sweet taste of my coffee.
I finished drinking it all in no time and it feels like my mood has lighten up a little and so I went back home feeling happy.
I spent the whole day lazing around and when evening finally arrived, I sent a message to Nao asking him to go with me in a bar to have a drink because he is my only drinking buddy.
He immediately replied to me but it turns out that he is unavailable until the end of the day. I changed my mind and decided to move it for the next day and luckily, Nao agreeed with it.
And that’s how we are now in famous alley bar to have a drink. The bar is pretty well equipped with dividers that separates every table and so there is a guaranteed privacy among guests which we basically don’t need because we are just here to have drinks.
Everything is fine and we are just hanging out like the old times. My alcohol tolerance is not low but not higher than Nao so I tried my best not to drink too much.
We are just drinking for half an hour when my brother, Satoshi suddenly call me out of the blue.
“Hello? Hisashi where are you? I’m in front of your house and knocking on the door but why are you not opening it.” He scolded me immediately.
“Well it’s your fault for coming without asking me first. I’m outside and I won’t be back until late tonight.”
“Hey, when did you start going out during weekends? I thought you are just staying at home lazing around so I don’t bother to call you beforehand.”
“I’m not that lazy you know, I go out whenever I want to. So what’s up? Why did you suddenly go for a visit?”
“Well you know something came up with me and my fiance so uhhmm”
“Don’t tell me that you have a fight? You are totally an idiot, your wedding is just around the corner so why do you keep getting into conflict with your relationship?”
“What can I do? I am too busy with work and she is also busy whenever I try to contact her and do you how hard living as if we are in a long distance relationship even though we are not?”
“Okay, okay I understand so stop ranting. I’ll just give you my passcode so you can go in. I’ll be back later.”
“Hey, wait a minute can you tell me where are you?”
“You don’t have to know. I’ll just tell you later.”
“Don’t tell me you are on a date right now?”
“No, of course not!” I am too flustered and I suddenly raise my voice and it surprises Nao sitting in front of me.
“Hisashi what’s wrong? Who’s that?” Nao ask me while looking worried.
“Ahh no, my brother just surprised me.”
“Really, it’s Satoshi-niisan? Where is he?” He looks a bit excited after hearing it was my brother.
“Ahhh actually-“
“Hey Hisashi are you with Nao right now? Pass him the phone. Let me talk to him.” Satoshi’s voice is so loud that Nao also hear it so I have no choice but to pass him my phone.
“Satoshi-niisan it’s been a long time since I last heard your voice, are you in the city right now?”
“Yes, I’m in front Hisashi’s place but I can’t go in because he is busy having fun on his own, huhuhu”
“Hey bro, you know I can still hear you. Stop acting like I am bullying you.”
“See, my little brother is still mean. Nao just leave that jerk and come and join me to have a drink somewhere else.”
“Actually we are already having a drink now so why don’t you just come and join us?”
“Really?! Then give me the address and I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay, it’s in—” they continue their conversation and I don’t care to listen anymore.
Ughhh… I thought I can finally have an alone time with Nao but out of all people, my brother is on the way to ruin my night…
“Hey why do you look so grumpy all of the sudden? Are you not happy to see your brother? I’m sorry for inviting him without asking you first.” He look so sad with his puppy eyes looking directly into my soul.
How can I resist this kind of cuteness.
“No, it’s not your fault. I’m just worried that my brother will just start ranting about his love problems until he pass out. Just imagining it gives me an extreme headache.”
“I see. Then don’t worry, I’ll handle him. You know how great I am handling kids having tantrums ao maybe your brother will be the same.”
“Hahaha you are right, he is really acting like a kid these days.”
“And who is acting like a kid huh? Hisashi you brat.” Satoshi finally arrived and he flicked my forehead before sitting next to Nao.
“I’m glad to see you Nao, it’s been so long since I last saw you.” My brother messed up Nao’s hair after patting his head.
“I’m happy to see you too. I’ll treat you a nice drink since it was my birthday yesterday.”
“Oh really?! I should have bought a present before going here if I just remember it.”
“No it’s okay. Let’s just have fun here together, right Hisashi?” Oh finally they remember that I am still here.
“Yeah sure let’s have fun. But first I need to warn you bro, don’t you dare get drunk or else, I’ll leave you here.”
“You are so mean. How can you say that to me, your beloved brother?”
“I won’t ever volunteer myself in carrying two drunkards into the street. I’d rather carry Nao and leave you behind.”
“See?! Nao look at how mean my brother have become towards me? Huhuhu. Oh I just wish to get back that Hisashi who was obsessed towards me.”
“Hey stop bringing up that shameful past. I was too young back then so forget it.” Damn it, this idiot is making me remember those embarrassing days of mine.
“Ahahhahaha, you two are really funny together.” it was a great surprise to hear Nao’s rare loud laughter and so Satoshi looks at me a little puzzled.
Nao really changed a lot after meeting that brat Kazuya. Well at least it makes me feel at ease knowing that he is now free from loneliness and depression he was suffering for a ling time.
“By the way Satoshi-niisan, why did you suddenly visited Hisashi? Is something up?”
“Actually, I just want to run away and find someone I can release all my rants.”
“Then you can tell me anything, I’ll be your rant buddy tonight.” I wanted to stop Nao from volunteering but I also don’t want to be the only one listening to my brother’s endless childish rant and so I let them do whatever they like.
Satoshi takes a shot first before starting. I also take a shot while waiting for him to speak up.
“The truth is I don’t want to marry my fiance anymore.” I spilled the beer towards his face after hearing him.
“Hey bro, aren’t you taking things too far? Didn’t you just said that it was just a small conflict about your work schedules? It can still be fixed.”
“Yes, Hisashi is right. You and your fiance already made it this far so you should at least think before making hard decisions like that.” Nao agreed to me.
“My fiance and I already talked about our problem everytime we meet and we always end up with an argument. We both love our jobs and none of us is willing to sacrifice for the sake of our relationship. We can’t even have an agreement about the place where we will live together after the wedding because she doesn’t want to move out from her place saying that it is compatible for her company’s location. On the other hand, her place is the opposite direction to my workplace and so I can’t agree to move in to her place ever.”
“Oh it seems like both of you just have too much pride to give way for the other.” I said to him.
“Well, things between us is not like this when first started dating during college. Everything was fine if you will just look on the surface but deep unside, I never realized that we are already drifting apart even before our engagement.”
That was a very sad thing I ever heard from my brother. I poured out beer on our glasses and raise it up.
“Just this once bro, I’ll let you drink until you drop. Cheers.”
“Cheers.” Nao is a little confuse to me but he still go with it.
“Thank you both of you, let us all drink and get wasted together!” Satoshi gulped down his glass of beer and fill it up again to drink.
It was rare for my brother to stop ranting and complaining after just one wave so I feel a little worried for him. He just silently drinks and occasionally talk whenever Nao and I ask him something.
Two hours passed by and I’m sure that Satoshi is already at his limit after drinking almost all the beer we ordered. I decided to just end my drinking night with Nao and bring my brother back to my place while he is still able to move on his own but then we didn’t expect that Satoshi will restart his ranting after getting drunk.
“Hey, why do I feel like I am the only one getting drunk here? Nao~ drink up for me.” Satoshi fill up Nao’s glass and waited for Nao to drink it all up
Without a choice, Nao drink it all up.
“Good, good. Here let’s drink again!” and then he fills up both of their glasses.”Cheers!”
And both of them drink at the same time. Satoshi keep filling up each of their glasses and I can see that Nao is just being nice not to decline my brother.
Oh no, this is bad. It will be a disaster if this two get drunk at the same time and I have to drag them out from this place.
“For the fourth time that my brother filled Nao’s glass, I snatched it away and drink it all before they can even react.
“Hey why did you do that? You have your own glass you know.” Nao complained to me as I put down the glass.
“You should stop drinking everything my brother is giving you, I don’t want to end up carrying to people later.”
“Hey you two stop talking on your own, come on let’s drink!” He raise his newly filled glass towards me. “Come on drink brother.”
And now I am his new target but I have to do it in order to preserve Nao’s soberness.
A few hours have passed again and it is almost 10 PM. My body feels so hot and my vision is getting a little out of focus. My brother had already passed out and the only one who may be still thinking normally now is Nao who didn’t get to drink much because I am always stealing his glass.
*ting*
The sound of a text message ring out of Nao’s phone. He opens the message and I can see how his expression shines like the morning sun while reading the text he just receive.
*ting*
*ting*
The process continued after exchanging a few more text messages and I can guess that it was all coming from that brat Kazuya.
Damn it. Why do they even have to act lovey dovey even though they are not together. Out of annoyance, I took another shot of beer before letting my idiot mouth run amock.
“Nao I have something to tell you.” My face is burning hot as I grab his cheeks with my two hands across the table to turn his face towards me.
“Hisashi I think you are already drunk. Just tell it tomorrow when you sober up.” His ears turned red too as I continue to hold his cheeks.
“No, I can only say this right now so please listen to me.” I squeeze his cheeks tighter.
“Okay, I’ll listen carefully to every words you will say so stop squeezing my cheeks.”
“Nao I love you!”
“Yes I know. I love you too as friend.” he slowly remove my hands away from his face.
“No, you are wrong! I love you more than a friend. I’ve been in love with you since college.”
“Hisashi, please stop joking around. You are drunk so let us all go home now.”
“Nao I’m serious. I keep hiding it all these years but now I can no longer hide it from you.”
“If you are serious with your feelings then why, why do you have to tell this to me after all these years? Do you really hate Kazuya that much that you will go this length to have a fake confession?”
“What are you talking about? Nao this is not about him or anyone else! I’m serious with my feelings so stop changing the subject.”
“Hisashi please stop! I have enough!” For the first time, I hear him speak in a loud voice.
“Do you really take my feelings as a joke? Do you only see me as someone who will just make a fake confession just to break off your relationship? Nao, I never thought that you think of me this way.”
“Stop acting like you are the only one feeling hurt right now! Do you even consider how would I feel after hearing your confession? Hisashi you keep talking about how much you suffered hiding your feelings but do you know how I feel back when were in highschool? back when we started living together during college? back when you started receiving love confessions all around the university? Do you know that it hurts me more than you can imagine!”
“I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
“Then let me spell it out for you dim wit. You are my first love and my first heart break!” His words ring loudly in my ears and I felt like I have been dumped with a bucket of ice.
“No way, but how…”
“See? You can’t even understand me either so why bother to let me know how you feel? I’ve started to develop those feelings for you since after that earthquake incident when we transferred schools. I was in loved with you during our days living together in the dormitory and the reason why I always avoided you was because I feel flustered everytime I am around you. Do you know how scared I was back then, the young Naoyuki who have no idea what to do after realizing that he fell in love with his best friend who is also a guy? And when I got the courage to check on the probabilities of you ever liking a guy, do you know how much it hurts me after seeing the results? It was a 97% bullshit slapping me in the face that we will never have a chance and so I gave up. I slapped myself everyday just to remind myself to forget my feelings for you and guess what, I finally got the chance to let go of my first love when I found someone else that time.”
I never thought that I will receive a more shocking confession from Naoyuki after telling him my own feelings. I am just staying still as if I’m frozen in my seat looking at the upset Naoyuki in front of me.
My heart feels tight after realizing how much he suffered in his own back then while I was living my life clueless about how he feels.
Damn it. Why do we have to realize our feelings for each other at the wrong time? If only I wasn’t dumb back in college then maybe we could have made things possible for us.
My tears fall down my cheeks as I look at Naoyuki. “Nao, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”
Nao’s eyes started to tear up as well but then he stand up and walks away. He left me crying… And I know that he also end up crying.
I am pretty sure that I ruined our long term friendship just because of this one time drunk confession for him.
Author’s Note: ❄️🌸🌻🍁
Hello, I’m here again to announce something. 😌
Finally, my new Novel is officially available here in Mangatoon so please support it as much as you support this work.
The title of it is “Coffee Stains” so you can simply search it up or click my profile and go to my works. 😉
I’ll be waiting for your comments on the other side.
~See you 😘💙💙💙