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Man Of Probabilities - Chapter 58
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“Sensei Happy Birthday!!!” A bucket of confetti was thrown towards my face as I enter my homeroom class on the morning of my birthday.
So is this the birthday surprise that they have planned for a few days? To throw a bucket of confetti on my face while shouting at the top of their lungs? Seriously? Why do I even expect something good from these brats in the first place?
*sigh*
“Thank you for your effort of surprising me first thing in the morning but please don’t forget to clean this mess later. Everyone go back to your seat for our lesson for today.” I fake a smile and try to control my cool so early in the day.
“Ehh?! But aren’t we going to spend this time to celebrate your special day?” the class representative complains.
“No need for that.”
“But-”
“No more excuses. If you think you can use my birthday to be free from my class discussions then you are all wrong. Everyone bring out your books and open it to page 262.”
I started my usual lessons until everyone settled down. Everything is going smoothly and I thought everything is already over when suddenly one of the brats raises his hand.
“What is it?” I asked him thinking that he has a question related to our class discussion.
“Sensei are you in a bad mood today?”
“Huh? What?”
“I mean, today is your birthday but you are acting more grumpy than usual. Is it something to do with your girlfriend? Did you two have a fight?”
“Girlfriend? What are you talking about?” I feel a little confuse and everyone started talking to each other discussing to each other about their classmate’s question.
“Aren’t you dating Sakaguchi-san?”
I almost throw the book I am holding towards the kid who said that but thanks to the temper I built after teaching kids for so long, I managed to hold back and just let my hands grip the book tightly to stop my reflexes.
“Hey brat! Where the heck did you got that fake rumors huh?”
“Eekk! I just heard it from the girl from the next door classroom, from Sakaguchi-san’s homeroom students.” He almost jumps from his seat when I stare at him while he explains.
“And where did she get that hilarious rumor?”
“I don’t know! I just heard them yesterday while they are eating on the cafeteria.”
“Then can you tell me their names?”
“Right now?”
“Yes, tell me now.” I need to know fast so I can confront them as soon as possible to stop the rumors from spreading all over the school. I don’t want to trouble Sakaguchi-san in dealing with this kind of childish antics from these kids.
“I –“ he is hesitating to speak and tell the names of the students from another class maybe because he is afraid to be the one to blame in case those kids get into real trouble.
“Fine, you don’t have to tell anything. Everyone listen up, I will give you the remaining time for this period to study on your own so prepare for a long quiz tomorrow. That’s all, goodbye.”
I storm out of the classroom and I can still their voices blaming each other especially the brat who opens up that rumors. I slowly knock on the room next door and luckily, Sakaguchi-san was not there and strangely, Miyoshi-kun is also not around.
“Excuse me but can I talk to all of you for a second?” I speak up before walking inside from the door at the back side to gain their attentions. “Can I ask who among you is responsible for spreading rumors about me and Sakaguchi-san dating?”
Everyone suddenly becomes quiet and swiftly avoided my gaze.
“Don’t be scared, I am just here to clear things up and to let you know that you have to stop sharing that news to everyone. So who is it?”
Someone from the left side slowly raises her hand without even looking at me. I walk towards her seat and stand in front of him before speaking again.
“You are Himeko-san right? Can I ask you why did you think Sakaguchi-san is dating me?”
“I – I’m very sorry! I just heard it the other day from your office when all the teachers are talking about you, I didn’t know that it was not true so it was not my intention to spread some fake news. I am very sorry!”
“What is going here?” suddenly, Sakaguchi-san enter the room with Miyoshi-kun following her from behind while carrying a box.
“I am very sorry for interrupting your class. I am just here to clarify some things to one of your students.”
“Oh I see. Then can I ask what the thing you want to clarify is?”
“Well actually, you see. I just learned that someone was spreading false rumors about the two of us dating.”
“Dating?! No of course we are not dating!” Sakaguchi-san is here again with her usual reaction and her funny way of denying about the rumor.
“See? Everyone must know now that everything is clear. Sakaguchi-san will never have interest with me and I on the other hand is uhm-“ I run out of words when I realize that Miyoshi-kun is watching closely to every word I say. “I am single and have no interest of dating anyone right now, that’s all. Oh, and by the way, Himeko-san please do your best in cleaning up the mess you’ve made before the week ends.”
“Yes sir!” she answered immediately before I can even take my leave.
“Okay, thanks.” I continue walking out but I remember something so I stop by the doorway and make an announcement. “By the way, because today is my birthday and we have a literature class later, I will give you the whole time to study on your own.” I paused for a second to watch how happy their faces become just after realizing that it will be free time for them and then I continue, “You have to use that time carefully because you will have a long test tomorrow.” The happy faces were changed into shock and panic after hearing their most hated word, ‘test’.
Now that a long test is coming up for everyone, Miyoshi-kun also got no excuse to whine and ask me to celebrate my birthday with him because he has to study. All things cleared up and I can have the whole day all to myself without any brats around. Finally, I am on the mood to celebrate on my own birthday when I get home later.
Hours later, I enjoyed my time doing my work in the office by making the long quiz I promised to the students. I keep myself busy until the lunch time arrives.
“Arakata-san, your homeroom students asked me to give you this.” Sakaguchi-san who just came back to the office put a box wrapped in red to my table. “They were actually planning to give it to you after your lesson earlier but I think they got really scared when got pissed off half way and so they asked me a favor of delivering it to you, and they wanted to apologize to you, especially Himeko-chan. She already apologized to me and she also wanted to formally apologize to you.”
“There is no need for me to hear any of their apologies; all I need is a good result from their test so that they can prove to me how sincere they are to take my words seriously.”
“Well, I think they are really taking it seriously. When I passed by one of a classroom where you are supposed to be teaching today, everyone was quiet and busy studying on their own.”
“That’s good to hear.” At least the part of me being pissed off and pulling an exam surprise becomes a great life lesson to the kids.
I opened the box that my students gave me and I really have no idea what to feel with its content.
A classic novel which I already got years ago, a pen almost identical to the one I used when I was in the University, a pocket size notebook of which I am very sure that I will not use because of its unicorn cover, a neck tie with a weird pattern and a whole box of band-aid.
It feels like they only bought whatever comes into their mind when they think of me, but why do I even need a whole box of band-aid? Do they still think that I am a delinquent who fights on the street at night?
Well, at least I can appreciate this as part of their efforts of surprising me in my birthday. I should at least thank them tomorrow, and maybe I can adjust the difficulty of their exam.
When I finally got home after work, I lie down comfortably on my couch with some foods I bought on the way home and then turn on my television to have an all night movie marathon on my own.
After almost one hour of watching alone, I hear my phone ringing.
*ring**ring*
(Naoyuki Calling…)
“Ah Hisashi, are you already at your home?”
“Yes I am, why?”
“I actually wanted to personally give you your birthday present but there is still a patient coming here for a check-up and so I asked Kazuya to give it to you.”
“What? That brat is going here?”
“Yes, I gave him your address and I think he will be there in just a few minutes. I just called you so that you won’t get startled to see him knocking in your door, hahaha.”
“Why don’t you just give it personally on another day, why bother sending that brat to me?”
“No particular reason.”
*sigh*
“Hisashi, Happy Birthday. Please enjoy your day and you don’t have to worry anymore about me.”
“Hey Nao, what’s with the sad tone while greeting me?”
“No, nothing, I just remember how we always celebrate it together, I mean our birthdays.”
“Nao, please stop being sad, I still believe that there is something that can make things work out for you and everyone. I will also make that wish for my birthday.”
“I’m sorry for making it feel so gloomy on your special day. Oh, I think my patient has finally arrived, I have to go now. Once again, happy birthday Hisashi. Bye.”
I sit up on the couch and stared blankly at the screen of my phone feeling a little sad reminiscing those times where Nao never missed my birthday and it only left me with the feeling of emptiness while imagining that this may be last year where I can hear his voice calling my name.
Damn it!
I decided to light up candles of the small birthday cake I bought for myself and emotionally made my wish.
Oh God please, I beg you. I will not ask for anything, I will not even dream of being close to Nao just like the old times but in exchange, all I ask is for you to save him. Please let him live more and have all the time to spend with the person that made him so happy right now. I am even willing to give my own life just to see him happy forever so please hear me out.
*knock**knock* I almost jumped out when I hear a knock on my door.
“Hisashi-san, are you in there?” I hear Kazuya’s voice from the outside and his timing is always the worst, I almost thought that it was God who actually answered my prayer.
I open the door and stare at the wrapped box he is carrying.
“Yuki asked me to bring his gift to you and greet you a ‘Happy Birthday’.”
“Yes, I know that.” To think that I am still not over to my breakdown, I unconsciously embrace Kazuya.
“Hey, what the heck are you doing?” he dropped the present out of shock.
“Please save Nao no matter what it cost.” I whispered to his ear before letting go.
I somehow snapped back to reality and so I immediately retreat inside my house leaving Kazuya dumbfounded.
Ahh! What the heck have I done embracing that brat? Geez, there is too much happening today and I can’t even think straight.
*ring**ring*
Who is it this time? I pick up my phone and look at the caller’s name.
(Odagiri Miyoshi Calling…)
“I’m glad you answer my call. Sensei, uhm actually I am around your neighbourhood and been going around trying to find your place but there is no luck and so I give up and decided to call you and ask directly. Sensei, where is your place exactly?”
“Huh? And why the heck are you trying to find my place? Didn’t I tell you that I will not allow anyone to step in my place, especially a student?”
“You have no choice now, or are you that cruel to not let me at least reach your place after walking around and around for almost one hour?”
“Whatever, I don’t plan of telling my place so just go home and study for your exam tomorrow.”
“But, I actually wanted to go to you to ask for help in studying.”
“I have no obligation to help you with that and it will be unfair for everyone if I do that.”
“But- oh wait a minute sensei, don’t hang up.”
I can hear him talking to someone.
“Excuse me sir but you are a friend of sensei right?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“Oh I mean, Arakata-san. You are the one with him back at the cafe right and the one in the amusement park?”
“Do you mean Hisashi-san, yes why?”
“I am currently lost and trying to look for his house, can you tell me the direction?”
What? Out of people he will cross path, it is that Kazuya who just got here? Agghh!
“Here, just follow the direction written on this paper starting here and then here.”
“Thank you very much, I will give you a coupon from our cafe in your next visit.”
“Sensei, guess what? I actually got your complete address from someone ahahaha, please wait for me because I will be there in less than two minutes.” And then he hangs up.
I face palm myself after dealing with brats one after another.
*knock**knock**knock**knock*
“Sensei I am here!”
I just wanted to hide and ignore him but I am afraid that all the noise he is making will make a scene and bother the neighbors.
I open the door a little to look at him but he happily barged inside.
“Here is my present for you and I brought some alcohol and snacks.”
“How do you even manage to buy those alcohols while wearing your school uniform?”
“Well, Mizuki-san, my manager at work bought it for me a while ago.”
“Are you seriously planning to get drunk today?”
“Well of course not. I don’t want to disappoint you if I ever fail in your exam tomorrow; I seriously wanted to ask you to personally tutor me for my entrance exam at PL University.”
“I understand that you are really aspiring to enter that university but why don’t you just enroll to a review school?”
“Because I already know what I have to learn in there and what I really wanted to know now are some tips and advice from a person like you.”
“Okay fine, I am going to hand you over some of my old notes I manage to save but don’t expect to learn so much from me.” I give up, there is no point in arguing with this brat.
“I am fine with anything as long as it is from you.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind.”
“Just sit still in the couch and eat some snacks if you like, I will be right back after I search for my old notes.”
I walk inside my study room and I just remember that I still haven’t replace the worn out light bulb in the room and so the only light I can rely on is the dim light coming from the table lamp. Luckily, the box I am looking for is just right at the corner of one of the cabinets and it actually got a precise label so I didn’t have any trouble searching considering the lack of light inside the room. I pull it out of the place and I figured out that it contains so much memory.
I sorted out everything that I think can help Miyoshi and puts back the sentimental things I don’t want to let go such as some notes personally written by Nao back then when we are preparing together for the entrance exam.
*knock**knock*
“Sensei, do you need some help? I think you are taking too long in there.”
“No I am already done, I am just putting it all in a box so you can easily carry it back home.”
“Really? Can I see it?”
“Okay, come in.”
I let him enter my study room but something is strange with him, it seems that he smells like an alcohol though I can’t clearly see his face to confirm if he is really drinking while I am busy here.
He swiftly step inside the room and I can see the excitement in his eyes as he started roaming around the area.
“Amazing! I can’t believe you own a lot of books. Have you read all of these?”
“I guess I have already read the majority of the books here.”
He continues roaming around the area like a kid until he accidentally bumped into my table lamp. Fortunately, it just rolled down in the table instead of falling down the floor and so it was safe from shattering but unluckily, a photo frame falls of and got its glass cover shattered into pieces.
“Ah I am very sorry!” Miyoshi panics after seeing what he have done and so he sat down to pick up the broken frame.
“Hey don’t touch it! Your hands may get pierced by the broken shards!” But it’s too late, this idiot already touched the frame and now his two fingers are bleeding. “Idiot! Go to the kitchen sink and wash your hands immediately! I will get my first aid kit so wait for me there.”
I grab the kit from my bedroom and followed Miyoshi in my kitchen to patch up his bleeding fingers. I carefully disinfect his cuts before wrapping it with band-aid I got as a gift from those brats.
After that, we walk back to the study room and agreed to clean the mess together.
I sweep down the floor to get all the scattered shards while Miyoshi carefully pull out the photo from the frame before throwing out the broken thing.
“Sensei, can I ask you something?” out of nowhere, his tone becomes so serious and I somehow feel little pressured for what he is about to ask.
“What is it?” I stop sweeping the floor and turn my head towards him.
“About this photo, it was a picture of you and Naoyuki-san back in high school right?”
“Yes, it is our last picture together before a major tragedy happened in our school. Well I consider it as one of the last time where I see him smiling genuinely.”
“Do you-“ he paused for a second as he look down the photo one more time before continuing “Are you still in love with him?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well it is kind of obvious you see. Every single time that Naoyuki-san is around or mentioned your face cannot lie how you get flustered you are. And that time at the amusement park, everything was made clear to me how you cannot still accept the fact that he is already dating someone else right?”
I stand up straight and I can no longer hide how annoyed I am from what he is saying. “And who do you think you are to tell me what I am feeling? Do you even understand what you are saying right now? Love? Cannot move on? Oh please stop spouting nonsense to me. I am not as naive and pathetic as you think I am. I am happy for him and I have no plans of ever dating him.”
“But why? Why can I clearly see how frustrated you are now? Can’t you see how work up you are now just because I ask about your feelings for Naoyuki-san?”
“And why do you even care? Who gave you the right to butt in with my personal life? You are just my student!”
“Yes, you are right; I am just your student. I am aware of that. I already know that you already draw a line between us the moment I realized that I am just one of your students and nothing more, hahaha.” The room is poorly lighted and so I cannot see clearly what is the face he is making right now but I was shocked when I notice the glinting tears that reflected the light falling down his cheeks.
“Hey why are you crying this time?”
“Sensei, sometimes I really think that you are a real idiot. You are too slow when it comes to seeing other people’s feelings. Arakata-san I am in love with you!” he wipes his tears with his arms and continue, “That time in the amusement park, do you remember the thing I wanted to say to you but it didn’t manage to reach you? The words I decided to keep that time because I think you are not still ready to hear it from me. Those words, just three words, all I wanted was to say is that I LOVE YOU! Did you hear that clearly now?”
Just like how I felt that time when Naoyuki told me his old feelings for me and the way I realized how dumb I am in understanding my own feelings, I stood frozen in shock while watching Miyoshi cry in front of me.
So this kid standing in front of me is in love with me? Since when? Why did not I even notice that? Was I too busy trying to figure out my own feelings that I didn’t even notice the things happening around me? Is this just like what happened with Nao’s past feelings for me?
“Miyoshi, I’m sorry but-”
“You don’t have to answer my confession. I am not expecting anything in return for that but please, just please, consider me feelings and don’t think it as a joke just because I am just your student. I won’t ever take back my words so always remember that there is an Odagiri Miyoshi who is in love with you no matter what!” He then just left without letting me speak a single word.
Miyoshi, I’m sorry but I think I still need time to clear my head and think over if what I am feeling towards you is also love. I don’t want to be irresponsible and hurt you more if I accepted your feelings and just go with the flow. If what I really feel for you right now is also love then I will not hesitate to reciprocate your love without fearing anything but in the mean time, please give me a little time to know myself first.